How to Help Someone with a Chronic Illness

Hi All,
So I have had a hard time lately with how people are seeing and dealing with the fact that most if the time I am unwell!
It has made me realize that I may well be a writer but when it comes to how ill I feel I am better turning to music to explain how I feel.
We have all experienced many different ways of feeling segregated in life from the "well" people! Sometimes it's because people only show pity, sometimes it's because people simply look at us as if we are different. But the fact of the matter is we are all the same, we all have struggles in our life; they may be financial, they could be through stress, or they could be because you have an illness.
So here are things to avoid if you have a friend, husband, wife etc who is living under the shadow of an illness.
1. Don't look at me as if I'm made of glass.....
What's the song?......I Am A Rock, Simon and Garfunkal

There are many songs out there that related to being made of glass, crumbling and breaking at the simplist of touch!
There are times in chronic illness that we may feel like we will crack and fracture under the pressure. There are hospital visits, medication regimes, pain storms and brain fog! However the majority if the time we are strong warriors! 
So next time you see your loved one, remember that they are strong and make them feel like it. That way they know to come to you when they are weak.
2. Remember that I can do things....
What's the song?..... Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell

A couple of times of late I have been reminded of the things that I can't do, of which at the moment  there is plenty. The problem is that I don't want to be reminded of them and sometimes we are. This is one thing thing that goes two ways.
People care and that is why they are reminding us that we can't or shouldn't go to the gym or the age old question " should you be drinking that whiskey in your condition?"
The reason people ask is because they are concerned and we should acknowledge that, which isn't always easy! The flip side is that we also have to live in a way that gives us enjoyment to and we have to feel that people have faith in the decisions we make! If we say we can do something then we will have considered the thing we want to do and the outcome because that is the only way we can live our lives.
3. Loneliness is a real thing....
What's the song?..... Hand in Glove, The Smiths

I often find that people don't understand what it is like to feel alone in your illness. You can be surrounded by people who care, which of course helps, but when it's your body you are scared if there is nothing anyone can do to make you feel less alone.
So please, next time you want to help someone, simply let the. Talk about their fears but remember that you can't make them better, the more you try the worse it will be for everyone. We want to feel loved and not like we shouldn't be alone in this because we may well be. The flip side is that if you lend us your ear we will feel less alone.
4. Try to compare.....
What's the song?......Hedonism, Skunk Ananse

This is a hard one because we will always try to compare our situations to others, it's natural human instinct. The issue with chronic illnesses is that it is all relative. I may feel like my pain is a 10 on the scale Whilst to the lupus fighter next to me it would only be a 6. Our illnesses are personal only to us, which can make it very difficult for others to understand.
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't understand the bits you need to, whether it be medical diagnosis or how our mental state is, but try not to push us into explaining everything because you simply can't understand someone else's fight 100%. The more you push the more frustrated we will get.
Here are just a few, I am sure there are more, like saying that we look to well to be sick, but it's to much for one post! What we need is to feel normal that's all.