**Questions that seemed a little inappropriate for my taste! Such as; how often do you masturbate?...REALLY?...this question is going to make or break a relationship?!?...Is anyone seriously going to ask that on a date?...well, knowing this blog...that's a possibility. But I digress.
I set up my profile and perused other men's profiles of who I thought were cute. Shortly I was receiving messages about the guys who were viewing my profile and some were very attractive! Which completely boosted my confidence as an attractive female. Soon after, men were rating me '4 out of 5 stars'; which totally gave me a bit of an unnecessary ego. I'M HOT! I was feeling good about my decision to join this dating website, "why didn't I do this sooner!," I thought. But as quickly as the ego boost came, so did the most amazingly awful messages. This master piece came from ohskycake; and word for word this is what he sent:
- ohskycake: I would let a blind epileptic man shave my entire body with a hunters knife then ride a pool noodle through shark infested waters with Snookie on my back fist pumping my head just to get the chance to purchase your bikini bottoms after they had been donated to Goodwill then bought and worn by a homeless male prostitute for 5 years.
After this lovely rendition, of what I can only assume to be an affectionate poem, comparable to Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman, or Ernst Hemingway. I knew online dating was going to be and interesting experience.
