How Do You Cope with Transitions?

Hi All,
Heading slightly away today from the planned post, although I will still be touching on it here, to talk about coping mechanisms. As I was doing my research I came across so many people asking about different ways to cope, when we know that stress sets off flares. Funnily enough this is something that I have been considering a lot in my personal life right now, the fear of changing my lifestyle and the unknown consequences of such is definitely something that has held me back over the years. Not any longer, over the past few years I have realised that it is time to stop being afraid of raising the beast and start moving towards finding ways to either stopping her from coming or dealing with her when she is here.

For me the biggest transitions in life are anything that change my routine, even in the slightest. Moving house, changing jobs, changing doctors etc, are all the types of things I have avoided for as long as possible and for good reason. I remember moving into a flat back in 2009 and it nearly killed me. The two days of actual moving were hectic, hard work physically and I don't remember having any time to rest at all. It was after this, during the time that you are supposed to be enjoying your new home that I simply had to sleep......sleep for days. I missed out on the joy of the occasion and the transition period was made all the more tough by the pain and fatigue.
So over the years I have been forced to look at ways that I can ease myself into change slowly and surely. I am human at the end of the day and to just throw myself into something is always going to be terrifying at first. So here are the things that I have learnt to employ in order to avoid a flare up and enjoy new challenges in life.
Look at ways you can slowly change your lifestyle....easing yourself in.

A great example of this was when I took on my current job in the city. For years I had avoided position that required a lot of travel, busy city centers and roles that would change my pattern of rest. However,w hen faced with a great opportunity I am not going to sit on my laurels because I am ill. The only issue for me was making sure that the transition into a new lifestyle was as sorted as it can be in advance of me starting. There are always things that we can do that will ease us into a new pattern. Here is how I tackled a new lifestyle routine....

1. Check out the location of the office and try out the travel in advance of starting.
2. Know what time you will have to get up and what time you are likely to get home.
3. Look at your finances before you start. Look at how much travel will cost, whether you will take lunch or buy it etc.
4. learn as much as you can about the job before you start so you can relax into it.
5. Check where the nearest pharmacy is! Strange I know but as I am no longer working near my GP this is good to know.
6. If you hours of work are changing, readdress your rest periods throughout the day.
7. Have contingency plans in place in case your travel is disrupted, such as what to do if your train is cancelled.
8. If you haven't already, consider letting your new employers know any health details relevant in advance so you don't have to worry about it in the future.

Limit any stress that you can and plan for it.

Part of my issue is that I do not cope well with stress. I am not ashamed to admit it and it is something that has taken me 30 years to realize I need to change it drastically. Part of my transition period issues all come down to how I handle the new stresses they may entail.  whether you are moving house, changing jobs or getting married....although each of these are brilliant things to happen in life, they do come with stress and rightly so. I firmly believe if you do not feel nervous then you are not truly wanting this to happen. These emotions are good things and it's how we handle them that can turn them into a negative, something I have had to learn the hard way.  So I have a new approach to stress which involves many separate techniques for the many entities that can arise. For example, moving house can involve huge financial stresses, where as getting married can pull on your organisational skills.... The main issue with stress is that it is one of the main causes of flare ups in lupus and we all need to make sure this doesn't cause us to miss out, feel miserable when we look back and create a negative atmosphere. Here are my stress busting tips for any transition period!

1. Look at the areas that will potentially cause stress in advance. Once you have identified the stressers you can potentially eliminate or lessen their blow.
2. Seek extra help during the transition period such as CBT, friends that can help, taking up yoga...the possibilities are endless.
3. Make sure you factor in extra rest during the transition to a new home etc. The extra hours sleep a day can make all the difference.
4. Look at relaxation techniques for moments when it all gets too much. Deep breathing, meditation etc.
5. Exercise releases endorphin's, so if you can get some gentle exercise do so to lift your mood.
6. Change your diet for the short term to make sure you are balanced and not in taking anything that wont help with stress. I tend to opt for decaffeinated coffee during transitions and cut out sugar. I find these help to keep me calm.
7. Tell someone your concerns. Simply telling someone close to you that you are worried about your stress can help them to help you.

For me, all transition periods come down to planning in advance. If I can plan, get things set in place and be ready for a period of more stress and less rest then I know I can face it. Each of these elements have stopped me from seeing new opportunities in a negative way....turning life into a positive and proving that the lupus will never win!