When I wrote my first post, I had no idea where it would go. I only wanted to share a couple of recipes and hope to spread the idea that health wasn't in bland food or restriction or excess or anything but in balance. That health is not singular entity but a myraid of factors intricately intertwined with one another and most importantly that health itself is only a tool that we may live better lives and as better people, more concerned for the state of the world and the fellow living creatures in it.
A year on and a handful of posts later, I've been blown away and totally overwhelmed by the generous outpouring of love and sincerity I've been blessed with online. I am naturally an optimistic and hopeful person and sometimes, even when I watch a movie and a horror scene comes on and someone is about to be murdered or kidnapped I instinctively pray for the person (C'mon brain, you NEED to know it's JUST a movie!) and through life people have always, always told me that the world is a dangerous place for someone like me. I'm too naive, too kindhearted, too innocent and I will definitely be taken advantaged of.
And it breaks my heart when we teach young kids to toughen up and shed their desire to be true to themselves and instead conform to the world both in terms of how they think about themselves and how they should act towards the people around them. Yes, it's important to teach children about stranger danger but it's not right to impose your inherent suspicion of everyone on your child. There is a great big difference on being aware of danger and being cynical and wary all the time. One helps you be safe, the other destroys you- makes you see the world as hopeless and accumulates hate and bitterness in your heart.
And of course, I've had my fair share of bad experiences in life but I've also realised that in the darkest of days is really when humanity has really shone through because when else would light shine the brightest if not in the darkest of times? Through this space I've met so many of you as well, who take time to write to me, to thank me, to encourage me and it humbles me greatly.
Within all your letters, comments, emails that tell me about your own personal struggles or your questions is always the same self deprecation and apologies for taking up my time and it makes me want to go to you if I could and give you the biggest of hugs because you are so beautiful and wonderful and yet you are afraid of taking up someone's time. Why? Why do you think yourself any less worthy of my (or anybody's) time than say the president of Singapore or anyone else for that matter?
So today I want to let you know how YOU and your small comments or words of encouragement have helped me and I want to let YOU know that whatever small thing you do, however small you feel, it will ALWAYS lead to greater things.
Because of You and your generosity in leaving an encouraging note, I've been encouraged EVERY single day to live better, eat better, do better. You think you aren't doing anything, You think you are taking up my time, asking silly questions but you fuel me to live even better so I can model for you a healthier, better life.
In your graciousness and kindness to encourage me in times when I am buffeted by the winds of society and unsure of myself, I find myself able to do that for others as well in their time of need. Because I've felt your strength through all your stories and all your struggles and even your desperate hope to get better and willingness to try again, it helps me want to try again when I fall too.
Because you take the time to write, I take the time to write to everyone around me as well. For the first time in my life after starting my blog, I realized the power of human connection and just being grateful to the people that have been always in our lives all these while and whom we constantly take for granted. I started to smile more, thank everyone, even the person washing the corridors every end of month, my pastor in the church, my parents, everybody. Your actions teach me to be a better person and I hope I do them justice by reflecting that to everyone around me as well. Every single one of your comments helps me want to wake up again tmr and write more or reach out more to the people around me and let them know that they aren't defined by numbers or arbitrary standards set upon them by society. That right now, right then and right at the moment they are worthy enough to start making all their dreams come true.
Your one small action has led to greater things and that's what I want to continue- to be a small stepping stone to greater things, a small link in the daisy chain of beauty that we can build right here in Singapore and then in the world.
So tmr when you wake up, I want you to know that that every small, good action you do will bring beauty to someone else's life. When you choose to eat a healthy breakfast with no fear or restriction, you bring ease to your worried loved ones, who will in turn spread goodwill and charm to their friends and family. When you choose to clear your tray at the food court after lunch or say thank you to the auntie who clears it for you, it will make all the difference to some little boy some where out there who is worrying that his grandmother's fingers may hurt or she would come home in a really foul mood. When you decline the second slice of chocolate cake at a birthday party without fear of offending your host, you are giving someone the strength to one day say no as well and not feel ostracized for making a healthier choice in a social gathering. When you choose not to go into an in depth discussion on how some model looks fat, or how your thighs touch, you are helping some girl somewhere, some sister of a friend, some daughter, some son, (and in turn, their children!) grow up without hatred of their bodies. When you choose not to instagram your chocolate lava cake with #fatdieme you are helping other people not fear food, not to see food as the enemy and perhaps even give them the strength to fight against their inner demons.
Do you see that you brought the greatest difference in the world when you are just you? Not when you are furiously planning your next meal plan or plotting ways and schemes to look like Miranda Kerr or anyone else. You empowered others, inspired others, made an impact by being who you are now and doing what you can do now. You don't have to look a certain way to do it, you don't have to be a certain size or at a certain number to do it. You already have.
Your actions may be small but they can do great things. You may think you are small but you can do great things as well. And these small things will snowball and accumulate and explode in a confetti of kindness and graciousness in society that will crowd out the negativity we currently have. We can't do much about the negativity. We can't do much with what's already in society, with their standards and their cynicism and hate and bitterness but we can crowd it out, increase the percentage of good, invest in the positive so that someone out there lives each day with just a tiny bit of hope that tmr will be a better day.
And that's all there is to life isn't it? It isn't just about healthy eating, sleeping well, choosing good food, having enough sleep. All these are just rungs on the ladder to attaining a healthy enough perspective on life such that we'd be able to pull up our fellow friends and family who are struggling and in need.
You have so much power in you to be great- not in terms of societal definition of money making and power welding but in your ability to make a difference to some one else's life.
Ask me how I know? Because I've experienced it from you and I know you can and I know you will. You just need to believe that you are worthy enough to embrace the power that is in you.
Be someone's stepping stone today. Be the link in this daisy chain of kindness and empowerment and any time you feel life is too hard or meaningless, remember that somewhere out there, there is a girl who was so inspired by you she felt brave enough to be real. <3
So thank you, dear reader. You don't know how much good you've done in this world just by existing and being uniquely you. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
Till next time,
xx
P.s. I'll do an update soon on how I've been now that I'm back and living a sustainable balanced life since my last blog entry :) But it's been going well. :)
P.s (2) I've also changed my profile picture on this blog to a more recent one that is un-photoshopped and taken in my bedroom, on my bed and drinking tea because I want you to know the real me and I want you to be brave enough too to not feel that only a photoshopped picture of you with carefully selected filters is worthy of the internet. (I know it looks totally different from my old one. I'm sorry if I've deceived you HAHAHA) I hope when you read what I write next time, you would think of us just sitting around in our jammies, stripped of make up, drinking tea and just chatting about whatever is on our hearts. :) xx
