So here is my confession I am not sure where this fits on the blog but I am hoping you can help me. It has been bothering me all year and I don’t know what to do.
I went to my friends party last year, it wasn’t super big but there were guys there. It was at the end of grade 9 and I was excited to go. I got there and one of my friends has a huge crush on this guy there and always tries to impress him and they would cuddle.
I always thought it was odd and wanted to have my first kiss with someone I liked more then a friend.
It was about 1 am and everyone announced they were going to bed.
This one guy who I didn’t like that way and was a grade older then me laid beside me. I thought it was a friendly way at first.
I was on the side of the couch and he was on the outside. Anyways he got really close to my face and said lets make out so we did and it felt so awkward but it just felt weird.
Anyways I though it was over, but to him it wasn’t.
He started rubbing my neck and then to my surprise he put his hands under my shirt and un clipped my bra.
He was rubbing my boobs telling me what a beautiful body I had. I was in shock.
Then he tried to go further and put his hands down there.
Now he started rubbing me above my clothes, down there and all i could do was lay there stuck between the couch. I turned over and he told me “no I want more” and I told him I was tired.
So he just kept rubbing me until my friends returned and turned on the lights.
I got up so fast and was so ashamed I had let this happen.
I know it really isn’t sexual abuse but I just feel so ashamed.
Anyways every time I see him at school I can barely look at him. The thought that he sort of took advantage of me and I let him was too much. He took my first kiss away and all I wanted was for it to be special.
I am a year older now and I just can’t picture ever making out with a guy again in the fear that he will touch me and try to take advantage of me.
I am not sure what to do and I am not even sure what I would call this.
I am in grade 10. What should I do,was what he did wrong or was I wrong?
This inspirational post was written anonymously. I have full permission to share the story and it is true to the best of my knowledge. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous story please Contact Me.
