I know you are going through a ton of feels right now, but you will get through this. Pinky swear! I’ve gone through all of this twice now and the youngest is back at in Grad School. It gets easier but don’t put your feelings on the back burner. You need to work through them. Trust me on this. Let me just list out all the feels I went through:
- Sad
- Happy
- Confused and not knowing what I am feeling
- Wondering who I am now that no one really needs me
- Angry that my kids are not taking my sadness seriously
- Ready to throw the kids out on the street because they are no longer listening to my advice or anything else I say
- Ready to murder my husband because he thinks I just need to calm down
- Euphoric that my kids are actually going to college or doing something with their lives
And there is so much more to that list, but you get it. Especially if you are in the thick of it right now. Here is your Mantra for the next few months: ‘I can do this, and I will figure out my new role in life and still be a mom/dad’. Just keep reminding yourself you are not the only one in this new place.
OK High School Senior Parents. Start preparing now for empty nest. Get advice from those who have been there. Talk to your kids about how YOU feel and ask them how THEY feel. Set some boundaries together on how Senior year is going to be as a family. They are starting to feel ready to move on and you are not ready. But you have to respect each other and let some things go. Talking it out without screaming and throwing things, is the best way. Ease up on the pressure on your kid too. Plus, there are no Margaritas in Jail.
College Freshmen Parents. Here is another list. Things to do to help with anxiety all around.
- Join the College/School Parents Facebook group/page. Lots of information here. Infact, all your questions might get answered here.
- Let your college kid take the lead. It’s up to your child to ask questions to their advisors and department heads. They also have Resident Assistants in the dorms to talk too and the registrar’s office as well. It is much better if you let your child do these things now. They are not highschoolers anymore. You can always be there to listen to them and remind them who to contact for answers.
- Learn where the closest hotels, VRBOs etc are to campus for when you want to visit. Find out about great restaurants too.
- Locate the nearest Walmart and Target and Dollar stores! You kids will need this info.
- Make sure you have a calendar of the semester/year from the college as well as your student. This may be online but usually there is one or two in the dorm rooms.
- Find out when Parents Weekend is and see if your child wants you to come. I know this sounds weird but as a mom of boys, mine said nope and I was fine not to go. lol
- This is one I learned the hard way, know where the ER is and make sure your child does too. You never know…..
There is a lot more, but the parent group is a great resource. There is often drama, just try to ignore it.
What about you now? Well, I did a series a while back on finding your purpose and passion. You could start here: Your Best Life Should be Passionate and Authentic. Here are 12 Ways to Discover Your Passion and Purpose Today! (midlifemargaritas.com) Hopefully, this will trigger some fire in your soul! Your kids don’t have to be the only ones starting a new life!
Two more things to be helpful, because that’s what I do, I’ll list my Amazon storefront for you to see my picks on dorm/apartment needs:
Lastly, if you are struggling with empty nest and you want to talk to someone about it, I have a great friend and resource: His name is Jay and you’re going to love him. His info is here: (Just for the record, he is not paying me).
