Family Magazine

Getting A Divorce When You Have Kids

By Peppertan

Deciding to get divorced is tough when it’s just the two of you. But when you add kids to the equation, it can make things even more complicated. However, despite how much you want it to work, sometimes you can’t get passed certain issues. And divorce is the only way forward for you and your partner. Here is some handy advice you need when you are getting a divorce and have children to deal with too.



Tell kids about the split at the beginning

A lot of parents hide the split from their children to save their feelings. After all, they know how much it will hurt the kids to tell them about the divorce. But if you hide it from the kids, it could do more harm than good. After all, they might find out about the split from a third party. And then they will be hurt you never told them yourself. Or if you do tell them later down the line, they can feel like you have been lying to them for months. Therefore, despite how hard it will be, it’s time to tell the kids about the split at the beginning. Sit them down together and explain what will happen. Make sure you remind them you both love them and will always be their parents.

Work out a child custody agreement

Despite how you may feel about your husband, he will always be the father of your kids. And although you might not want to see him, your kids still need to have him in their lives. Otherwise, they will grow to resent you if they can’t see their dad. And it will harm your relationship as they get older. Therefore, you need to work out a plan with your ex which will ensure they still see the kids. It might be the case that you do this through a family law attorney. After all, as well as sorting out the divorce, they can sort out custody of your kids. And if you agree to joint custody, they can make sure this works out for you and your ex. If things are bad between you and your ex-partner, you might want to get a third party such as a parent or friend to drop off and pick up the kids.

Give yourself some time too

While your kids are your priority, you need to remember that you need to process the divorce too. After all, it can be a horrendous thing to go through. And it can be really tough to say goodbye to that part of your life. Therefore, to ensure you get some time to yourself to grieve for the relationship, it might be worth asking friends and family to help out. For example, letting your kids go for a sleepover could help you to release your emotions for the evening. And sending them to your parents while you go on a mini-break with your friend could help you through the divorce.

Remember to be wary of introducing new people to your kids during the divorce. After all, they need time to process the divorce, even if it’s been in the pipeline for a while. Therefore, put dating on the back burner for the sake of your kids.

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