Friday’s Letters: So Get Like Me!

Dear LC
THANK YOU for making a simple trip to your doctor an absolute NIGHTMARE! You do realize that it’s for your own good that you see her once a year, to make sure that you’re healthy? Not only do you owe me a new handbag (which broke while I was trying to control you), you also owe me a lifetime of morning snuggles to heal the massive scratch you left on my arm today. I’m so not very happy with you young lady!

Dear Andre
Unlike your sister, your trip to Dr. Peacock wasn’t as bad, I’m just sorry that I had to shove you into a shoebox and didn’t comfort you when you cried all the way to the vet. I’m sorry. But I hope all the new shiny toys in your cage make up for traumatising you today.

Dear Mick
Why oh why do we keep going back and forth all the time? I miss us and the way you used to be; seeing each other on weekends, watching movies in bed and falling asleep halfway through. Urgh, where are those two people?!

Dear Skin
Thank you for not freaking out this week.

Dear Sleep
Blame the late-early shifts all week. This is why we having been seeing much of each other and I don’t think it’s going to change next week either. Apologies in advance.

Dear Fleet Review
Even before you came along you gave me a headache. No doubt you will continue to be a headache til it’s over.

Dear Vegetarianism
I’m so happy that I’ve made the switch this month. I do admit I a few things, but I always think it’s for the greater good.

Dear Social Life
You’ve really taken off and I’m pretty stoked about it. Even with the fleet review this week, there are TONS of things to do that isn’t sailor related.

Dear House Chores
I just can’t be bothered with you this week. Why can’t you just do it yourself!

Dear Mumma
Although I miss you to the moon and back, I’m so glad that you’re having fun overseas in your beautiful house, in the sunshine, surrounded by fresh air and no noise. Thank you for picking up on my tone and telling me you love me. Always warms my heart.

Dear Pops
You crack me up with your dad jokes and thank you for your patience whilst I dragged you around IKEA for moral support (and in case I had a panic attack).

Dear Baby Brother
I missed you at last Sunday’s family lunch. I really should have given you a call to see how you were. Looking forward to catching up with you at this Sunday’s lunch.

Dear Baby Sister
You make me so proud and I’m so jealous you got to meet Jason Derulo at your gig last weekend. I’m also sorry I snapped at you when you told you to stop at the wrong set of traffic lights. Next time you have a gig in Bondi, I know where to go at least.

Dear Waiting List
Not to be pushy or anything… but would you mind HURRYING THE FUCK UP!? Please and thank you!