Reality vs. Expectations. Is it difficult to discern reality versus illusion? Maybe not really. I think the problem is not with identifying wether we’re living in realistic world or fantasies but rather it is our willingness to embrace reality because most of the time reality hurts when it doesn’t fit into our yardstick of success.
As human, we are dreamers. We dream big. Who doesn’t?
We plan. We want to design our life. We want to be the engineer of our future. We want to be the marketing strategist of what we want to offer.
We are so optimistic that no one we can stand in our way and we, with our strong determination would do everything within our capacity to turn all those dreams into reality. Sounds fair and it is. Who says there’s something wrong in pursuing our dreams? In fact, most life coaches, psychologists and other experts on personal matters would recommend the same. While it would always be commendable for us to follow our dreams, we should condition our mind and heart that not all roads are smooth. There will always be bumpy ones, dead ends and cliffs. We are to be emotionally prepared to meet failures along the way and those expectations of ours would not always turn the way we envisioned it to be.
You would have probably read somewhere, maybe in major magazine publications, websites or your favorite blogs these things that I am talking about and personally I have encountered this issue so many times that I can no longer remember when and where. So why did I bring up this issue? As overused as it may sound, wether we recognized it or not but each and everyone of us is battling our own war. It can be our wars towards success, financial freedom, career stability, personal and spiritual life. Whatever it is, what ever we are aspiring for, we always have our expectations…results and products that we want to achieve and meet after a torturous process.
Reality hurts. After all the hard work, things doesn’t materialize as expected, we crumbled. We are left torn to pieces waiting for someone to pick us up and hopeful someone would be brave enough to make us whole again, to at least try to make our dreams unfold into reality…again. After failure, many would lose the drive to try again because they can’t endure the thought of losing the battle and without assurance that the next attempt would be successful, the doubts and hesitance are doubled. 
But isn’t it normal that when we do something, we should always expect something good will manifest from our labor? After all why toil on something you don’t have faith in? It would be a total waste of time and effort. So when does expectations stand on our way to success? When does it become unhealthy in building our dreams?
While there is no harm in expecting and as a matter of fact we are told to expect everything good will come to us with the grace of Allah, the detriment is not with the act of expecting itself but rather what happen when we don’t meet our expectations.
Sometimes, we prepared so much for a project, using our resources, time and effort to get it done imagining a fruitful result will come our way. At one point or another, each and everyone of us have gone through this. Do you still remember how it felt to be depressed and to grieve over the matters that our hands failed to grasp? How hurtful it is to sit in a corner alone, empty-handed and a heart filled with frustrations.
Frustrations. Depressions. Suddenly all your dreams take the backseat. You lose the drive. What for? When all you get is pain, when all your efforts only come to vain. But is that all? You just give up like that? Just because your expectations don’t turn out to be real, it doesn’t mean you can’t try again. In fact, many people succeeded not on their first attempts but on their second, third and so on.
The sad truth will always be bitter. Not all our expectations will turn out to be real but that shouldn’t imply negativity. Reality can twist us off the track but again that should not stop us from pursuing our dreams. That should not hinder us to stretch more patience and effort to do what we are good at. There will always be good things waiting for us after all our hard works and dedication and if not, rest assure that those things that we wanted so bad, if it is not awarded to us, maybe because it wasn’t good for us. Definitely, there is always something better in store for us and it will come at the right moment.
With that mindset, it wouldn’t be that too difficult to digest failure. Yes it would hurt but eventually you’ll get over it. You will be calm and at peace knowing Allah is saving the best for you and Allah knows best.
