Calling a Truce to “the Mummy Wars”

I don’t know about you, but I reckon that of late there’s been too much said – in the media, at playgroups, on Facebook, amongst the posse of mums in front of the school gates etc etc  - about mothering. Yes, about mothering – about the right way to mother, the correct way to mother, the preferred way to mother.

Even the perfect way to mother.

Of course this then opens the can of worms that is the discussion for all kinds of critique, tsk-tsking and head shaking judgy-judgement of how other women choose to raise their children.

They’ve coined this “The Mummy Wars”.

The debate that’s possible to be had on so many elements of parenting could continue forever and then a day or two. Yawn. It’s been said and done before and to be honest, my position remains unchanged.

At the end of the day, I firmly believe that most mums do the very best they can for their kids, using the resources they have available, each and every day. I believe that most mums desire to be the best they can be at parenting, and that they are actually their own harshest critic.

I know that sadly, there are some instances where mothers do choose not to act in the best interest of their children but I believe that this is just not the norm, thankfully, and is associated with mental illness issues best left discussed by experts.

I’m no candidate for mother of the year – heck remember my motto is something about surviving it all – but my professional career of 20+ years involves working with adolescents and in this time I’ve met and taught literally thousands of them.

This is what I’ve learnt.

By the time a kid walks into my Year 9 English class, I just CAN NOT for the life of me tell ….

• if they were breastfed or bottle fed
• if they co slept or if they went straight into a cot in their own room from hospital
• if they wore cloth nappies or disposables
• if they were worn in a sling or pushed in a pram
• if they were born via caesarean or if all pain relief was refused during a home waterbirth
• if they were a blessing after rounds of IVF or if they are adopted
• if they were fussy eaters who were calmed with McHappy meals once a week
• if they sucked on a dummy and carried a blankie
• if they were plonked in front of Sesame Street in an effort to gain an hour’s peace a day
• if they spent their childhood barefoot

But, I CAN tell if they are a happy, well loved, respectful and confident young person. I CAN also tell if they are keen learners and if they are well connected to their world. All big picture stuff isn’t it, so maybe it’s time for mums to drop their weapons of words about the little things and keep all eyes on the prize? Just saying.

Would love to hear your thoughts, really.

Hooray for the end of another week and that means it’s Friday linkup with some fabulous blogs

Grace’s Flog Yo Blog Friday and Bree’s Flash Blog Friday.

These 2 gals host awesome Aussie linkups, so head over for some great blog reading!

I’m linking up this week again with a US blogger I’ve been following who just cracks me up, so

go check her out at You Know it Happens at Your House Too!

photo credit: Dunechaser via photopin cc