Family Magazine

But What We Cannot Do is Change FOR Them.

By Rachel Rachelhagg @thehaggerty5

Everyone most likely remembers their D A R E program in Elementary school. I remember thinking to myself during graduation..

” I’ll just stay away from people who use drugs. I’ll never know anyone that does, because I just will choose to not be around them.”

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The usage of drugs in our communities is climbing numbers. Whether we choose to turn a blind eye, or be involved in users lives is a personal choice. For us, owning our own company, and having to hire young men to work for us we are all too familiar with drug users. 


With the children napping inside, my husband and I walked into the back yard. It was time to say goodbye to an employee we love so fiercely, as if we was our own flesh. My maternal instincts kick in full speed in situations like these, and I cannot control my tongue from speaking what the Holy Spirit is whispering in my very ears. 

” The drug you took doesn’t define you, unless you let it become you. You are ( his name ). You are smart, you are a hard worker, you are handsome, you are strong and we see more potential in your pinky finger than you can see in your whole body. We refuse to keep loving you, and praying for you. But this new life you want, it has to be your choice. THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL BE SET FREE IS THROUGH JESUS’S BLOOD THAT HE SHED JUST FOR YOU. You can’t keep waiting for life to work out, you have to surrender your pain to Him. “

I walked away with tears in my eyes, not because he was leaving our company. Not because I will miss him.

Because he is worth more than the life he is living. 

The fact is that we can WANT a better life for someone else alllllllllllll we want.

We can pray for them and we can lift them up with encouragement and love.

We can tell them they are worth more than abusing their bodies to get relief from their pain.

We can even offer them a job, to better their lives.

But what we cannot do is change FOR them.

Believe me, I’ve taken on so many false burdens in my life my back literally became painful. Sore. Achy.


So today, if you are holding onto something for someone else pain, anger or grief because you are thinking that it will LESSEN theirs, IT WON’T.

I’ll tell you what you will get when you worry about others: Fear.

I have to daily lay all the crap I’ve collected trying to fix others problems at the cross, our souls weren’t made to carry anything alone.

He is stronger.  


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