The torture and pain in abandonment… As we watch abandonment happen in those that are new into the world.. We watch this and don’t give the understanding to let’s say little tommy who is 5 and seeing how a growing female child of 13 is upset and crying, Little Tommy is wondering why the energy of those around him is off… It is off from the choices we make from pain we never get past as we have been here and endured pain the child has not. In this case he just wants to speak about what hurts in him from what he is experiencing seeing his sister upset over the comments of the older sister and the dear girl who is with her. As he tries to be heard we hear only the silence from those infected in thoughts about the drama that ensues. In that he is wondering how this translates into a space of stay out of this. Where in truth inside of him he needs to resolve his feelings of seeing those he loves hurt… As he gets older the silence in him will become a rage of not being heard and someone will think him crazy, but the response of what happens when energy goes unheard is something that always causes us to abandon others when we are not looking. We shelter a pain inside and make others responsible for activating that pain whether it be a cry out to those who can relate and keep us activated in their pain to share with us.
The family form of abandonment happens in this world more times than not.. It happens from this same example stated above. You witness someone who will abandon you, you witness the truth about what that abandon needs or wants to be in your life then pain is embraced. As we try and mend the broken moments of what was, we miss the truth about what it means to have those in our life who gave us life who shared our first moments, who grew side by side with us.
It could be the ones you shared this similar experience with to gravitate and ignite this pain inside you. Such as a sibling, or a parent, who you endured their pain, and made it your own. We watch and enable this to taint the love we have in our existence here. It is why we become cold to each other, seem uncaring, and why we enable the frustration of such energy to ignite us when we aren’t fully aware of the tendencies of the pain that it causes in ones existence.
Weeping from this place is always a pain you will carry in silence as you continue this existence, not by choice, but by not revisiting the moment this became a truth to you. Never to recollect the choice to see this from the inside view of how you can’t forgive anyone or anything because of this one moment that you can’t forgive by not giving yourself permission to forgive yourself for holding on this whole time or the person that you hold accountable for not hearing you to forgive them for this the whole time. This in how energy is going to be returned by something that is beyond your control. You will elect the silence instead of speaking from the place that hurts.
You will reach a place where you can’t hold this any longer not because of the moment being gone, but as much as it is that you found barriers in those that will listen to your heart that weeps. You will be unable to speak from the place inside you that weeps because of the silence being in a deep place near your root. This comes after the person is gone when their death is all you are left with. My mother left many of these with me, not by her choice, but by mine.. I was to busy hurting in silence to share this with her… I didn’t know how painful that would be until I had to accept her passing and this was the pain I was left with within myself that needed to be gone into in pain… This pain is why the tears role down my face NOW… Not because of what I can do, and will do the remainder of my life but because of what it feels to see myself in what little Tommy is experiencing… The pain of not changing any of it… No matter how it comes to communicate this in truth…. The 5 year old experiences this and still screams and tells everyone to love everyone, we all love each other as family right? This is still gone unheard by the way this happens. As you get older this will be why you always seek to understand why anyone does anything especially when they hurt you. Not seeing it is you who is in pain and that you are creating space for this pain to grow. It is a chord of this life that is struck a million times, and it seems to always seek the 5 year old voice of why, or I want to talk this out. Yet nothing… Nothing will be able to replace this, just the one voice that sees it all and is awake to see the impact of the noise the child still endures.
What is it about the love we carry that creates these limitations when we are in pain? Abandonment….. The noise becomes louder in the mind and when you go unheard something in you looses the sound pointing to silence to change this to make it something more powerful in the love you feel for yourself and those around you. Why else do those that say I am alone become truly alone when silence is more present? This is a wake up call as a adult, or parent! You get to make this a choice. A choice to see all the choices that you are in as energy that can make the difference in your sons or daughters life. The compassionate energy of I am here, I am listening, I am the love that will always love you unconditionally… What would a child like this be like in this world? Well take this for what it is worth… You are that child and you still are growing in this world… One can only wonder as the forms of abandonment still have such a strong foot hold in this world we must see it together in order to change the energy of what will evolve in our presence, not our absence!
If you are going through something in your existence, where your parents hurt you, or you felt abandoned, realize this is only a trait of what was done just as it was to 5 year old Tommy. It happens without our knowing, and knowing is always aware of itself. As you come to any conclusion of what this means to create a world of unconditional love, this is a wake up to what is around you… For what can’t be seen in the dark, can always be brought into the light!
Love deeply… Love without abandon, and also realize that this comes from what you give to yourself that you will give to others. The conscious starts with this knowing… Knowing that your love has conditions built to be broken, not by the soul that embeds this, but by the soul that transcends it!
All weeps inside you see this and remember the moment this was taught to happen to you… Not by something hidden any longer…
Just.Believe!
Clark
