This a blue moon post.
I don't know that I have given much background to my life, where I have been, where I am now, and where I would like to be.
I feel like I should share this, because something is happening in my life and it really hits home for me.
My father is Mexican and my mother is Chicana. My father beat my brother so bad one time, that he dislocated his jaw. He hit my mother lots of times when I was coming up and continues to do so from time to time. I promised myself that I would never be that weak. I would never let some man bring me down that low. Looking back, I think I made myself hard to deal with, hard to please even...
I promised myself that when I could, I would leave and only come back to visit my mother. I could not agree with my father and his sick beliefs. My father is a racist. How did I end up marrying an African-American man, you ask? I just did.
I fell in love at 18 and when you are young you are hasty. I got married 5 days before my 20th birthday. I moved out of the house before my father could find out about us. When my father did find out that I was dating a black guy, he disowned me and asked my mother to call me one last time just to tell me that he wanted to kill me. I left town with my love and
I saw my mom shopping at my job a couple of months ago. When she found out about us she was angry too. She was angry at first, knowing that I knew how my father felt about things and I still went off and dated this guy anyway and in secret, no less! The day that I saw her, she ran up to me and apologized but kept looking over her shoulder to make sure my dad wasn't coming. I forgave her and believe it or not, I forgive my father too. I can't keep letting all that anger, frustration and hurt hold me back. I wish that my mom would have left him. I still do....
For any woman who has been beaten and verbally abused.
HE WILL TRY TO KILL YOU ONE DAY AND HE MAY SUCCEED IF YOU DON'T LEAVE....
There is nothing you can say or do to make him be a better man or father.
LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN! I felt so alone when I left my hometown to flee from my father. I didn't have the support that I wanted or needed from outside family members. I have seen the best and worse in family members. Only one family member reached out and I thank him for that. When you feel like everyone has turned their back on you, nothing can make you happy. I KNOW. I was depressed for years. I still think about it some days but I don't let it get me down anymore.
If you know someone who is in a situation like this, REACH OUT! Do not let them feel all alone. It is the worst thing to have to feel like you have to do this alone. I felt alone for a very long time until someone reached out.
Grandma, I love you and miss you and feel your presence of late.
-Julie
