Halloween is almost here — will you celebrate it the awesome-ist way possible? To make your Halloween as radical today as it was when you were a kid, follow these blue collar Halloween tips (don’t have kids? It’s cool, I’ve got some tips in there for you, too):
- Don’t force your kid(s) to stop trick-or-treating the moment it gets dark out. That’s when it’s the most fun, remember when you were a kid? I know it doesn’t seem safe, but c’mon.
- Don’t make your kids keep the health food that some people hand out. In fact, encourage them to throw apples, carrots, granola bars, or any other “healthy option” back at the giver. It’s called trick or treating. A carrot is no treat. So they should expect a trick.
- Don’t follow your kid(s) around like a jail warden. When they’re little, like my youngest, they need some help getting around the neighborhood, sure. But when they get a little older, like my 5th grade daughter, they can find their own way around. Let them be with their friends and have fun!
- Don’t take your kids’ candy away so that they only eat a little every day. It’s Halloween. They should have all their candy and freaking enjoy it. If they get a stomach-ache, then that’s a great lesson they’ll have learned about cause and effect.
- Do make your own costumes. What’s more fun than imagining what the kind of troll, zombie, or princess, in the case of my daughters, that you want to be? Imagine it and start finding things around the house to put it together!
- Do tell your kids what time to be home — and it better be after dark!
- Do encourage your kids to scare/startle younger trick or treaters at will.
- Do tell your kids to not get in a car with anyone. Or go into any homes. Or go into any garages.
- Do put gummy worms in your kids’ beds when they’re gone trick or treating so that they get freaked out when they get in their bed that night.
- If you don’t have kids, make sure you have awesome candy or your house might get TP’ed.
- If you don’t have kids and you’re not going to be home, then leave a bowl of candy out so that the first trick or treaters can take it all and be proud of their loot.
- If you don’t have kids and hate kids, then make sure you go to an awesome party in an awesome costume that you made.
