I haven’t see Troll, but it doesn’t matter. Troll 2 has nothing to do with it. As a frequent contender for worst movie of all time, Troll 2 is an anti-vegetarian screed and campy horror film that’s impossible to take seriously. It’s part of my bad movie therapy. And it’s also an example of religion and horror. But first, let’s set the scene. The Waits family (Michael and Diana, and their kids Holly and Joshua) is doing a house exchange for a vacation. Before they leave, however, Joshua’s dead grandfather appears to him to warn him about the goblins. The goblins, who are vegetarians, make people eat/drink a special substance that turns them into plants so that they can eat them. (Yes, it’s that bad.) Ignoring Joshua’s concerns, the Waitses head for Nilbog (goblin backwards) and go ahead with the house exchange.
The locals (there are only 26 of them) can make themselves appear human and they try in vain to get the visitors to eat. Joshua prevents his family from eating the plant food by peeing on it. They go to bed hungry as the queen of the goblins plans her next move to get them floradated. About midway through the film, we’re shown a church scene in which the minister preaches of the evil of the flesh. Ironically, this is not far off from the teaching of some Christian denominations. He tells the trolls what they already know—they have to get the visitors to eat so that they can eat them. If nothing else, it will make you forget your troubles for ninety minutes, unless your trouble is that you’re being turned into a plant.
Any number of reasons have been offered for why the film is so bad. While filmed in Utah, the crew was Italian, and most of them spoke no English. The movie was low budget. The acting is just plain bad. All together, however, these features work symbiotically to grow a wonderfully therapeutic end result. Some of the crew claimed that it was the intention all along to make this a funny film. Comedy horror or horror comedy is a recognized genre, after all. The only problem I have now, however, is where to go from here. So how does the Waits family escape their peril? I’ll need to offer a bit of a spoiler here. The goblins are frightened away long enough by a double-decker bologna sandwich that the family can touch the magic stone and destroy the conspiracy. What are you still doing here? Why aren’t you watching this already?
