It’s been a week since “the break up” and I have come to a few realizations over the past seven days. First, breakups are truly a terrible happening. They’re something I think we would all gladly skip over if we could and still feel like we lived a full life. The crying, panic and physical pain a heart feels are just the tip of the iceberg that is loosing someone you care about.
The other major realization I have arrived at is how remarkable the range of emotions the human heart can feel is. We can feel overwhelming love and sheer bliss, followed just days later by the pain of heartbreak and then bounce back again into a brand new state of being we create for ourself as a single person.
When we’re in a relationship with another person, we develop an equillibrium that makes for a life with him or her (regardless of whether that life is for a few short months or the one that turns into forever). It is a schedule when we expect to talk with or see each other, a set of standards we agree to live by and feelings we share about each other. These three components explain why breakups are so hard. This past week, I suddenly lost my schedule, standards and feelings and without those, how can I help but feel anything other than lost?
This morning I woke up in my new and fabulous apartment and decided that I have cried all the tears I will, felt the pain I’m willing to and went through the “normal” steps of a break up and just like that, I am ready to move on. They say that when one door closes another door opens and I have found this to be true, quite literally. It’s as if people I missed out on before somehow knew I am newly single and stepped right in for a chance. While I am deciding to take things slow since I am certainly in no rush to find forever, I am thrilled at what possibilities lie ahead.
If nothing else, I am taking one lesson with me from my most recent relationship and that is the choice to believe. I believe in ever-lasting, head over heels love and I believe that it is out there waiting for me. In the beginning of this relationship I felt like the most special girl in the world, happier than I had ever been and overall ellated. I have no doubt that I will find this again with someone even more special and that it will last a lifetime. I certainly lost my footing for a minute but I am back and stronger than ever before. I am choosing to embrace this next phase of my life with a smile and a refreshed outlook. And you know what? I cannot wait.
