So my friend is thinking of going to Jamaica and I have some questions for Nat about it which I shall now address in this open letter:
Dear Natalie,
You've been to Jamaica, right? Can you answer me these questions?
1. My friend would like to see some operas in Jamaica. Specifically, soap operas. All the soap operas (Days of Our Lives, GH, and Y&R in addition to any unintentionally hilarious Mexican ones that might be available). Do these air on TV in Jamaica or will she have to try to tune into these on her laptop?
This is what she thinks her Jamaican getaway will look like. But she may have mistaken Jamaica for Cuba.
Does Jamaica have flatscreens?
2. Is it true that guys just come up to you and sell you giant bags of weed in Jamaica? Is it legal-ish for my friend to buy that giant bag of weed? Or will she end up in a seedy foreign jail like Bridget Jones? Also: my friend is worried that the giant bag of weed might make it hard for her to use her computer to find the soap operas, which makes Question 1 even that much more pressing.
3. Drinking in Jamaica: Is it all about the rum? Can she get some tequila up in there?
4. All-inclusive resorts: My friend has never been to one. Are they terrible, tacky insults to the hardworking, poor locals? Or are they important to the local economy? Please assuage
5. What does all-inclusive include? Say my friend falls down and then immediately falls asleep in the hotel hallway because she suddenly got really, really tired of drinking and smoking. Would hotel staff pick her up and tuck her into bed? Or would you have to pay extra for this level of babysitting service? If she is likely to get really tired like that, would you recommend that she stay in her room with her stories and her bottle and her giant bag and just order room service all week?
Because that sounds like an awesome holiday.
Please advise.
Your friend IRL,
vil
