Was it stroopwafels, the delicious Dutch delicacy of syrup sandwiched between thin waffles, which I wanted to consume large quantities of in Amsterdam, or cocaine?
One of these wouldn't have attracted even a hint of interest from me - the last one, if you must know - but this is a current question posed to potential British visitors by the Dutch city's council.
The surprising question is part of the tourist hotspot's latest 'Stay Away' campaign, which consists of an online survey titled 'Amsterdam Rules', which also asks why you'd like to visit (spoiler: the 'wrong' answer is bachelor party), whether you want to wear your clogs until 5 a.m. and fancy a bubbly beer with a joint. You are passive-aggressively punished every time your plans "start to become a hassle" (presumably for long-suffering Amsterdammers).
I didn't think I would be the target of such a campaign, but it turns out I am: a British man aged 18 to 35. Blighty has the honor of being the first official target group, ahead of Germany, France, Spain and Italy, who are next on the list.
The municipality of Amsterdam is taking tough action against 'party tourists', those who say they come to 'push their boundaries', which 'fuels the illegal drug trade' and 'causes nuisance to residents and entrepreneurs'. In fact, the quality of life in the city center is "under pressure".
Read more at Traveling the Netherlands:The premise is solid. Anyone who searches online for terms such as 'Amsterdam coffee shop', 'Amsterdam red light district' or 'Amsterdam bachelor party' will be referred to the interactive quiz.
It's a demeaning and condescending approach to finding 'better' tourists - but the Dutch capital is absolutely right to treat us like irresponsible troublemakers. We have only ourselves to blame after carefully crafting a less favorable image.
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The 'British Abroad' stereotype persists, both in memory and in reality. Before I am accused of unfairly humiliating my fellow citizens, I am well aware that we are not the only nationality that behaves badly when enjoying that potent mix of new environments and booze. But I've reported on enough planes making emergency stops due to disruptive passengers, spoken to many residents of the Greek islands, and read police reports from abroad to know that the cliché still has loyal adherents.
I asked a 28-year-old Scottish man, who does not want to be named but is planning to visit Amsterdam with three other guys in May, what the main reason for the trip was. There was almost something beautiful in his brevity: "To get started with it."
And will pointing out the "rules" for tourists have an effect on their behavior? It was an expletive, followed by "no." Not the response tourism organizations would have wanted for their estimated expenditure of €90,000 (£77,236).
"Amsterdam may now regret opening the floodgates to cheap tourism, which can lead to over-enthusiastic, overloaded visitors, which will ultimately cost the city a lot of money in terms of police time and other related management issues," says Ted Wake, general manager of Kirker. Holidays, which has been bringing holidaymakers to the city for more than 30 years.
"It is important that this also has negative consequences for the local population and many visitors."
They are fighting the good fight - but does it go far enough? This campaign follows last year's online approach, where those who searched for similar terms were shown warning videos about the consequences of drug use and excessive drinking. The initiative cost the city €85,000 (£73,945) - and officials admit it did not have a "general disincentive effect" on nuisance visitors. And even with additional measures - early closing times in the Red Light District, a ban on group tours, a ban on spending the night in cars - there is no evidence that this soft-soft course will work.
Chelsea Dickenson, founder of CheapHolidayExpert.com, told me she understood the sentiment behind it, but that the gentle reminders of good behavior are unlikely to stick.
"I'm not sure that adhering to the rules has ever been a primary concern for the individuals this campaign is actually trying to reach," she joked.
As my esteemed colleague, Simon Calder, has pointed out (and the council has since confirmed), it is not in fact prohibited to organize a stag or hen party there, despite what the quiz says. Tom Bourlet of The Stag Company told us The independent that it is the "ultimate irony" that "rebellious Britons" have led to the company experiencing a huge jump in web traffic and inquiries about Amsterdam - as they did during the 2023 campaign.
"Amsterdam had a very quiet period from January to February and disappeared from the top 10, but I hope the municipality of Amsterdam will do the same for us," he says, adding: "We need to hire their team to take care of us to work. ."
A Google search brings up companies that want to show me "a damn good time," while another describes Amsterdam as the "capital of debauchery." If the tourist board wants people to simply associate the city with tulips, Rembrandt and the like, they need to get real with their crackdown. Continued misery for city residents will not be quelled by officials who walk around with these light touches - but they are absolutely right to be cavalier when tourists, assuming they are being asked to respect their host city, instead take action.
Read more on the best hotels in Amsterdam"Let's hope Amsterdam's local authorities tackle the challenge before it becomes a real long-term problem for both local residents and tourism," warned Ted Wake, praising the "warm hospitality" the city offers visitors.
Ahead of a trip to Amsterdam next month, I'm happy to say I've "passed" the test, after which I'm told "my responsible choices show that you value a positive experience." That means no to coke and yes to a caramel waffle snack.
