I am a breast cancer survivor. I hate hate hate that phrase. I didn’t “survive” anything, I just did what the doctor’s basically insisted, went on with my business and got lucky. That’s not to say it didn’t affect me because to this day I’m still struggling with a variety of things and I’m most certainly not back where I was when I was diagnosed. Not even close. But I suppose that’s how I’m classified at this point. Woo hoo. I survived. (Seriously I am grateful for that but I still hate the saying.)
Many, many years ago with my Grandma
So, to start at the beginning would be way too far back and not my own story to share. Where I will start is right after Christmas one fantastic year about 8 years ago – I think. I remember it like it was yesterday, but I really can’t be certain of the year. If you’ve ever heard of “chemo brain”, I am living proof that it not only exists, but hangs on like…like…well, like something that never goes away. But we’re getting too far ahead here. I actually saw a lump in my left breast. Yup, I could actually see it. It wasn’t massive, but a slight lump under the skin that I knew had to be looked at. I got to the doctor as fast as I could, but a healthy young 20-something wasn’t too high on my doctor’s list apparently. I finally made it (to be fair, it was probably about a week). What would be a comedy of errors if my doctor hadn’t guessed wrong ensued. She did tests – badly – which led to waiting longer between steps. Eventually, over a month later I got a call from the breast surgeon. The tissue she removed – I don’t remember which procedure this was because there were so many – was cancerous. They had closed up for the day, but would be waiting until my ass showed up because I needed to come in right away. You know that’s never good. So my parents and I raced right in to hear that, yes it was cancer and needed to come out right away, and – bonus – that meant a complete mastectomy!
The good ole days
So that was a fun day. Then came a fun month filled with test after test after test, each one leading to another test to prove or disprove the prior test. Hold up, then my perfectly healthy cat – the first cat I’d ever had – randomly died one night while asleep under a chair. I think that was actually the worst part of the whole year. But the vet happened to have a kitten in need of a home and she’s still with me today! But back to the negative stuff. J After being told I needed chemo and would lose my hair, a different doctor in the same office called to tell me that I didn’t need chemo. Massive confusion ensued until my regular doctor called a few days later to verify that I did need chemo. The cancer was initially thought not to have spread outside the tumor, but upon closer examination, it had. Just my luck – lose a boob and my hair. Fan-freakin’-tastic.
The new kitty - Clover (aka Chloe - yes, she has extra toes)
To make a long story short and spare you the gruesome details, I had a mastectomy that March and a few months later went through chemo. It wasn’t for very long and the doses weren’t the strongest, but it was still a miserable experience and I would not recommend it – like anyone has a choice! J All the hair on my head fell out, my eyelashes and eyebrows thinned and some other hair that I wish never grew back disappeared for a while too. But my hair returned, I had reconstructive surgery to at least sort of resemble a breast and got a free boob job to even out the other side. I never really wanted larger knockers, but I ended up with them anyway. I wish I could say that life went back to normal, but it didn’t. It still hasn’t and probably never will. I wish I could say it changed me for the better or that something about me was altered in some cosmic way, but no. I’m just older with silicone sacks and a lot of scars.
Almost all my hair's gone - I couldn't bear to shave it!
So what’s my point? I’m not sure I really have one. I always feel like it’s my duty to say something during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If I had to say anything, and I actually do feel like this is important, I would say that no matter how old you are and no matter your family history or general health, CHECK YOUR BREASTS! I was lucky. I think my tumor was caught early, but it was growing rapidly – and I wouldn’t have found it if it hadn’t been so close to the surface because I certainly wasn’t doing self-exams. Clearly I should have been, but I had no idea that someone in her 20s could even get breast cancer. I’m living proof that age may not matter. Lifestyle may not matter. In fact, genes don’t necessarily matter because I am negative for the currently known linked genes. As far as I’m concerned, every month is a month for breast cancer awareness – and not in the “let’s make money off pink-tinted products and donate a tiny amount to a charity”, but in the sense that YOU need to be aware of your OWN breasts and monitor them for any changes. So I guess that’s my point. Do self exams. Visit your doctor regularly. Just keep track of things and tell someone if anything changes. Even if it’s minor. Maybe even especially if it’s minor. Don’t be afraid that something is wrong; be proactive and ensure that nothing is. And should there be a problem, don’t ignore it. Don’t wait it out. Time is not on your side. Do as much research as you can, listen to your doctors because they deal with this every day, and don’t be afraid. Prevention and early detection are your best weapons. Not only is the health of your breasts at stake, but your whole entire life is. Not just literally, but the figurative quality of life and life-as-you-know-it can be gone in an instant.
To learn how to do a Breast Self-Exam and to learn more about signs of breast cancer, you can find more info here from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, here from Cancer.org, or here from BreastCancer.org.
If you can’t be bothered with a formal breast exam, just lift an arm up in the shower and feel the entire breast area and into the armpit on that side. If you know how that feels normally, you should notice changes. Should you notice anything different, call your doctor.
For general information about Breast Cancer, check this out from Cancer.org.
Me & My Favorite (very fake looking) Wig
