5 Reasons Why Sonam Kapoor Makes Me Gag

Disclaimer: This post is an expression of my utter and sincere dislike for the offspring of one of the few Bollywood actors I really like, and is not sponsored by any PR machinery - either belonging to said offspring for whom any publicity might be good publicity, or to her so-called rivals. Sincere apologies to Sonam Kapoor fans NOT offered. Proceed at your own risk.
Karan Johar to Sonam Kapoor: Why do men find Sonam sexy?Sonam Kapoor: 'Coz I got a smart mouth!
More like Jimmy Choo-ed foot-in-the-mouth. At least she had the seldom seen sense of saying "mouth", not brain, since it would be evident to even the most ardent admirer as well the most dispassionate observer that the lady is clearly not endowed with said apparatus. Which made watching tonight's episode of Koffee with Karan both a hilarious and tortuous affair, as most slapstick comedies often are. While my attitude to Ms. Kapoor earlier had been of indifference bordering on dislike, this particular avalanche of megalomaniac inanities from that pretty and "smart" mouth of hers has transitioned that indifference into confirmed dislike. Though I'm not a reactionary 'hater', here are the top 5 reasons why I'd like to keep myself away from further encounters with this high-flown empty-skulled beauty.
1. She calls herself an icon: Does she even know what that word means? She might be a fashionista par excellence, who wears beautiful and expensive clothes and jewelry from top fashion houses, and I admit I like looking at her pictures in Haute Couture, but an Icon? In what sense? If any of us had a father as rich as hers, a jewelry designer mother, and grew up with High Fashion glossies as our recreational and educational reads, with no other concern, worry or commitment in life apart from looking good all the time, I'm sure we could all be Sonam Kapoors. Maharani Gayatri Devi was an icon, Suchitra Sen was an icon, Madonna and Lady Gaga are icons, but Sonam Kapoor? Puhleez!
2. She advises Deepika Padukone to "create her own style": And who is she to define style, may I ask, Ms.Vogue-Fashion-Editor? She hardly has a style of her own- if at all, it is all made-up and carefully constructed rather than the effortless beauty of Deepika. She has a great fashion sense no doubt, but when she is being dressed up by designers like Anamika Khanna and Jean Paul Gaultier, where does her own originality and sense of style come into play? For instance, her look with the black Alexander McQueen gown at Cannes 2013 was a big flop. She is a clotheshorse, yes- she wears anything and everything- and that is why I don't think she is original enough to be doling out style tips to someone who is stylish enough in her own right.Plus, Sonam Kapoor's brand of - I repeat - carefully constructed and takes-hours-to-dress-up beauty makes a Lazybirdie like me want to run miles away from anything related to Fashion. Not a good thing. No no.
3.She "honestly " thinks the "only thing" left for Ranbir Kapoor to do is "to make a serious commitment and get married": Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Seems like a passive-aggressive stance prompted by a serious case of sour grapes! Enough said.
4.She says she has survived in the industry because the critics never give her bad reviews- "they have always praised my performance": Is she delusional? Or is she surrounded by an over-zealous and over-protective battalion of fawning well-wishers who never let anything bad written about her reach her? Or does she, in fact, read ANYTHING apart from fashion glossies? I read somewhere that she is a self-professed bookworm, but I doubt that any bookworm could be THIS dumb.
5.Okay I HAVE to quote her here- "...people make so-called art films, why do you have to take like not nice-looking people, like why? Doesn't make sense and just that they don't look good does not mean they are good actors... 10 years down the line I would want to watch a Kuch Kuch Hota Hai again, you consider classics like Maine Pyar Kiya, DDLJ... I want to go down in posterity...": There's nothing left to say. I rest my case!
If I were a man, I'd take to my heels and gladly escape to a desert island if ever I saw that "smart mouth" approaching anywhere near my vicinity. Since I am lucky enough to be a woman, I sincerely and whole-heartedly pity the man who'd be numbskulled enough to find SUCH a "smart mouth" sexy.