Dating Magazine

3 Secrets in Finding a Loving Relationship

By Datingdiva40 @datingdiva40

 A Loving Relationship to Last a Lifetime

By Barbara J peters

Want a loving relationship to last? With all the communication problems that exist between two people it is no wonder why loving relationships are hard to maintain. Communication falters on many occasions leaving the two people frustrated and disconnected. Being able to accurately read your significant other’s thoughts and feelings can make the difference between hearing wedding bells or a nasty break up.


how to find a great relationship, how to develop a loving relationshipAccording to a recent study from Harvard University, “being able to accurately read your partner’s emotions and believing that your partner is trying to understand your emotions is related to relationship satisfaction.”  In other words: Empathy can be a secret for a happier relationship.

Developing empathy is a little like working out and building a muscle.  It takes a choice, each and every day.   Activating that “empathy muscle” takes some stretching.  Some work.  And sometimes it’s just plain uncomfortable. But choosing empathy is a skill and a habit that you can learn.

Want a loving relationship?  Try these 3 secrets.

Develop empathy. Get into his or her shoes, even if they are not your size. I was sitting with a couple today and the female was complaining that he couldn’t see that her friendship with a male friend of long ago was harmless. I asked her how she would feel if he was the one with the “friend” relationship of the opposite sex? She replied, “that happened a few years ago.” So I said, “and how did it make you feel?” To this she replied, “hurt, unloved and confused.” This exercise helped her understand intellectually and from a feeling level exactly how her partner was currently feeling.

Practice reflective listening. Listen for emotional messages and avoid defensiveness. Emotional messages aren’t the same as verbal statements – they’re the feelings behind the words.  Look beyond the words and find the meaning, even if the other person is having trouble articulating it. Then paraphrase the content back so that it can be validated for accuracy.  Instead of assuming you understand how he or she feels, let the other person tell you when you’ve expressed their feeling clearly.

Be willing to apologize for mistakes without sounding trite. Letting someone know you messed up and want to do better is a gift from the heart. Nothing means more than an honest expression of a wrong doing, an open admission of responsibility and a willingness to do it a different way.

Whatever secret you choose, make sure it is consistent. Doing something for a day or a week is merely putting a band aid on the cut. Do it from the heart and do it with the intent to make it forever. Relationships are not made in heaven, but you can be in heaven if you put the effort in everyday to get there.


Please visit Relationship Expert , Author,and Marriage Counselor Barbara J Peters

To Find out more about her Books <~~ click the links


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Secrets to a Long and Lasting Relationship

    Secrets Long Lasting Relationship

    Over the years I have been hearing and reading stories about how to keep a long and lasting relationship. But because I have also seen relationships that fall... Read more

    The 13 July 2012 by   Mismisleyson
  • Zen and the Art of Content Marketing: Three Secrets To Finding B2B Contentment

    Content Marketing: Three Secrets Finding Contentment

    “Devising a successful content marketing strategy for B2B can feel hurried and convoluted these days. Everyone seems to be talking about it, but do they even... Read more

    The 13 December 2013 by   Scotcombs
  • Chu River & Han Street, Wuhan

    River Street, Wuhan

    Getting some culture back into my life had to be done, well seeing a show I mean because it's no secret that China doesn't have a West End like theatre culture... Read more

    The 26 October 2015 by   Joseph Harrison
  • Embracing 40 with Style and Pizazz!

    Embracing with Style Pizazz!

    It was birthday week in our household this week – not just one birthday, but two! Amy officially became a teenager on Wednesday, so on Tuesday evening the rest... Read more

    The 25 October 2015 by   Mischieviousmum
  • The Motivated Ignorance and Moral Vacuousness of Feminism

    Motivated Ignorance Moral Vacuousness Feminism

    Of all the civic movements, of all the philosophies, of all the cultural constructs there are or could be, my opinion is that Feminism is the dumbest, most... Read more

    The 27 October 2015 by   Elizabethprata
  • 2015: Something To Remember...

    2015: Something Remember...

    2015 has been a year that's kept me on my toes, I got a job at the beginning of the year to help kick-start my China fund. Scaling back my blogging to only... Read more

    The 27 October 2015 by   Joseph Harrison
  • Could We Colonise Another Planet to Save This One?

    Could Colonise Another Planet Save This One?

    © Auston HabershawLet’s do a little thought experiment, shall we? The late, great Douglas Adams wrote about a planet (Golgafrincham) that decided to ship all it... Read more

    The 26 October 2015 by   Bradshaw

Add a comment