Although he retired in 1999 and was supposedly banned from the locker room in 2002, Uncle Jerry was seen working out in Penn State’s weight room as recently as last week. He gave a commencement speech at the school in 2007. And he was still running university-sponsored football camps for little boys as recently as 2009. Although Penn State has denied that they endorsed the camps, they promoted the events and allowed them to be held on university property. So, as far as I am concerned, they knew damn well that they were profiting from Uncle Jerry’s reputation as a defensive wizard; they were not concerned that the profits were being generated by a pedophile, as long as no one else knew. Even more ironically, in 2010, the school opened the Gary Schultz Child Care Center – because nothing says “child care” like shower room rape and perjury. And most ironically, if you are looking for the perfect stocking stuffer this holiday season, I would suggest picking up a copy of Uncle Jerry’s autobiography entitled Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story. Seriously. HE CALLED HIS BIOGRAPHY TOUCHED. I think my brain just exploded.
Mike McQueary, Current Coach and Firecrotch
But let’s keep going, because we haven’t covered all of the incredible weirdness yet. The infamous 28-year-old graduate student, who witnessed the 2002 rape of a little boy in the shower, has been identified as Mike McQueary. And interestingly, he is now a senior assistant to Coach Paterno and the current wide receivers coach at Penn State. So, the “very credible” McQueary, who was so upset after the incident that he immediately called his father and went to visit Paterno the following morning, was given a coveted position in the football program and then just happened to keep silent for the next nine years. McQueary was able to recall the incident in sickening detail for the Grand Jury in December 2010, but we are supposed to believe that he didn’t tell Paterno, Curley, or Schultz the “specifics” back in 2002, right after it happened? Fucking ludicrous. Someone should have called the authorities; there is simply NO excuse. The Pennsylvania Police Commissioner happens to agree. He said that he has never “been associated with a case where that type of eyewitness identification of sex acts taking place where the police weren’t called.” I mean, we are talking about events that happened in 1998, 2000, and 2002, amongst others. It wasn’t like a one-time, perhaps this incident was misunderstood, let’s wait for further facts, kind of episode. It was the repeated rape of young children. It was a pattern and practice of child abuse that Penn State not only ignored, but ultimately condoned. They placed the institution, the greatness of a respected football program, before the well-being and safety of young men – the very group that Paterno has been trying to inspire and shape throughout his career. Strangely, after the police investigated the 1998 incident, District Attorney Ray Gricar deemed the accusations “unfounded” and did not pursue criminal charges. Even though two police officers had secretly overheard Uncle Jerry admit that he inappropriately showered with a young boy and even though the DA had full cooperation from the victim’s mother, the case was closed for unknown reasons. At the time, Gricar told the police that he would “be in touch” and then he disappeared. Quite literally. He went missing in 2005, his computer was found in a river, and he was declared legally dead just last year. In March 2011, police officer Ron Schreffler, who worked on the original 1998 investigation, was contacted by The Patriot News; he refused to comment, but suspiciously asked the reporter, “How did you see that report?” Well, now everyone has seen “that report,” and we all want to know what the fuck happened.As the details trickle out, I do not understand how Penn State keeps trying to distance itself from this scandal; they are all undeniably, completely, inexcusably linked to it, from beginning to end, from top to bottom. And there is no way to justify what happened or to shift blame. Their only path forward is to accept responsibility and dedicate themselves to rectifying the situation as much as possible. If that means removing everyone involved, including Coach Paterno and President Spanier, then so be it. But first and foremost, they need to stop acting like ignorant dicks, because no one is buying their bullshit. After a decade of only worrying about their own asses, it is time they worried about the young boys whose asses were getting repeatedly raped by a Penn State employee.