When I was starting out in my career, and even at university before I began, I was constantly comparing myself with others. I wondered how I could stack up well against others who had a private school education, mums and dads still together in a happy family unit, plenty of support, and the list went on. (Of stuff that I didn’t have). Rarely did I consider the skills and talents that I did have.
I wondered how I would ever have the level of confidence that people who outwardly had more of the trappings of success did. By the time I got to that stage of my life, I’d already had a fair few tough experiences and although I’d heard stories of how adversity can make people more successful, I had zero experience in the area and couldn’t personally see how going through difficulties could actually benefit me or my career. Other than making me more worldly, I guess.
As I have progressed in my career, and in life, I have realised that your past is what you make of it. If you see it as a negative; things that happened to you (or things that didn’t happen to you), then you are likely to be stuck in the mindset that your background and experiences don’t serve you. All of us have been through difficult experiences, to varying degrees, and although it’s always challenging at the time there’s so many ways they can be used to our best advantage in future.
The trick is to first, see your past – your most difficult, toughest times, together with the good times - as your best asset in life.
All of the experiences, feelings, emotions, knowledge, and skills that you have learnt or been through in the past have served you to the point where you are today. Know that you are stronger and better for these experiences, and you have more to bring to the table because of them.
Never dwell on the past. Sure, it’s great to reflect and think about what’s happened sometimes, as long as you don’t lose yourself in it. But if you constantly immerse yourself in thinking about what has happened previously, you will be at risk of two things. First, you can lose yourself in the past and keep reliving all of those same emotions again and again. Secondly, you can be prevented from ever moving forward or experiencing anything different because you continue to expect the same things to happen in the same (or a similar) way. And when you’re in that frame of mind, things usually do.
The way our brain grasps onto repetition in this way is one of the greatest things about us – it enables us to develop and sustain skills and habits. I’ve talked before about creating rituals around your routine to help you establish and maintain positive habits. In this way, having your thoughts on autopilot can be of huge benefit – as long as you’re choosing habits that serve you.
However, having your mind constantly repeating the same types of thoughts can equally be one of the biggest things holding you back.
The point is that you can choose how you experience life; you can choose which habits you will take on in order that they serve you; and you can choose to use your past to positively impact your future.
How do you think about your past, and what it brings to your career?