I know you are heartbroken. I see you sobbing in the hallways.
You think things will never be the same.
And you are right. When someone you care about ends a relationship with you, it affects you. You do not magically revert to the Way Things Were Before. Sharing yourself with someone — in whatever way — and then having that door close… it changes things. The changes may be subtle, but things will never be completely the same.
However.
Change is not always bad.
You will not always feel this much like crap.
I want to tell you.
The person you are now is not the person you will be in two yeas, four years, ten years, twenty years. With time, you will change as you grow into your mind, your soul, your skin.
He will do the same.
As you may have determined, not only do those changes lead — sometimes sadly, bittersweetly — to growing in different directions. The separation is difficult but sometimes necessary for each person to grow toward their own light.
I want to tell you that it’s good to have these formative years alone. As your own complete person rather than as one half of the social entity known as a couple. I mean, couples are fabulous and fun and all — but it is crucial to still know who you are even when you are not part of a couple.
I want to tell you that time will pass. New doors will open. New relationships will offer themselves. You will send out new feelers and put down new roots. This current pain will fade though it may still scar.
And these new feelings, they will be fuller, richer, more complete. Because they will be everything you feel in that present along with all the memories of the past.
In some ways, this is your adult life just beginning.
I want to tell you.
But I do not tell you this.
Because you are not yet the person you will be twenty, ten, five, two years from now. You are the you of today, the person newly separated from someone dear to hear, the person for whom life will never be the same.
I could tell you all this about life, about your future — and it would be true.
But it would still not take away the pain of today.