There Is No I In Mom

You’ve probably gathered by now that motherhood is a team sport.  It doesn’t emphasize the individual and focuses primarily on the good of the group.  And self-care of the coach is NOT an element built into the program. Even if there were a little check box for it, I believe it would be grayed out – unclickable.

Mother Nature is a sly chick, and she purposely hard-wired you, the coach-mother, to obsess about your team in order to protect them.  I received the same wiring and was completely absorbed with my little player, ready to pounce on any and every imaginable (and unimaginable) opponent on the field.

Can you relate?  You give and love and give some more and love until your toes fall off.  But so little of that is directed toward yourself. Because it’s not part of the program!

And don’t get me wrong, you DO get love in return.  And that love is what keeps you in it. The hugs and kisses and mangled flowers and rocks and wrappers…the folding of soft, eensy onesies and the music of tiny belly laughs.  I was DEEP in it for many years and savored every minute.  It’s a magical part of motherhood, and so worth the price of admission.

But it gets costlier, and no one sends you the price change notice. That all-encompassing love translates into insane activity schedules and the to-ing and fro-ing of basically everybody in your line of sight.  And here comes the quote:

You can’t just sit there and put everyone’s life ahead of yours and think that counts as love.Now I am NOT saying that the only reason you are embroiled in the crazy life that you’re in is because you are trying to prove your love. I understand that putting your family’s needs ahead of yours has turned into a natural extension of your love.But that doesn’t make it healthy.Would you expect your family to constantly rearrange their schedules to accommodate yours?  Would you have them neglect and even abandon their own goals and dreams so that yours could ALWAYS be top priority?I didn’t think so.Maybe it’s time to let Mother Nature give you some guidance. She’s tough at first, but she ultimately has your back, and she too is a subtle, yet powerful mojo master.You may have noticed that as your small people age, they become more and more independent.  With every year they need you less and less. So it’s OK to let go a little.  Believe me, they will thank you. Society will thank you.  And YOU will thank you for instilling self sufficiency into your children.

You’ve still got game!

So now that we have it all in perspective, it’s game on!  Find a way onto the field and schedule yourself back into your life. Own that timeslot on the calendar and guard it like a linebacker.  Now get out there!  I’m rooting for you!

♥ Cassye