Human beings are complicated. We may have the capacity for relative independence and we are certainly encouraged to claim a level of individualism within most western cultures, but we thrive in community with others. High on the list of emotional requirements is a desire for love. We can define love in a myriad of different ways but the sense of connection to another human being is central to our understanding, desire, and need for it.
That need for love often takes the form of seeking out a partner that we choose to spend more than a passing amount of time with and commit to for an extended period of time.
Marriage, as one way of codifying that commitment, has existed in many different ways and among many different cultural traditions for thousands of years. However, the notion of marriage as the ultimate demonstration of "love" is relatively recent. Marriage has represented many things throughout history, but "love" was not one of them. We looked to marriage for safety and security. We wanted to know that we were going to be protected, physically, economically, and socially. We sought out excitement, surprise, and often sexual gratification in other places and from other folx.
However, more recently, we have begun to look to our marital partners for both surprise and safety. This is a hard ask and a tall task to fulfill. We are essentially laying out a set of unrealistic expectations and then, often, rebelling when they are not met. Contrary to popular belief, divorce rates are not out of control. They peaked around 1980 and have been, for the most part, steadily declining ever since. Related, age of first marriage has been steadily climbing for well over a century.
So, we may be waiting longer to marry and sticking with it more than in the past, but the stakes haven't decreased. We continue to look to that one person for opposing needs. I don't point this out to try and assert that we, as human beings, are not capable of providing both, but merely to assert that perhaps we'd do better if we didn't need to provide both. Let's expand our networks and spread the load as we seek to have our various needs met. Perhaps we'd all be happier if we connected more and expected less from any one person.