Sobriety: My Failures Became My Success!

By Sobrfit3
Written by:  Cathy Shuba
"Happy Tuesday!"
Yesterday, I had posted a quote in my Sobriety Fitness group on Facebook and noticed someone commented as though they were a failure.  It sadden my heart and I began to think,...and for those who know me when I begin to think look out!  I thought about the times I had failed at a lot of things.  I thought of how I felt.  I thought about what this person may be feeling about them self.  I thought about if this person is a newcomer.  I thought later why I did not personal message them and ask why,...I even felt like a failure.  I ask myself in times when I feel scared, unsure or fearful of what will happen if I try this or do this or not do any of it and just stay safe...will I fail?  I sometimes fail!
I grew up in a family where I had two parents that at times would fight...I thought their marriage was too fail!  I grew up where my two sisters seemed to do well in school and what they wanted to be,...I struggled in school and knew I was to be an artist someday but wasn't really sure of myself...I felt like a failure!  I grew up where the teachers were not that supportive and more like I was a bother or frustration to them because I did not get things as quickly as the other kids...this allowed me to feel like a failure.  My dad and mom were good parents but if I did something wrong I was for sure to know how wrong I did it,...this allowed me to feel like a failure.  I felt like a failure growing up!  I allowed failure to consume me!
When I was drinking I failed at sharing my feelings, my emotions in a proper way and my needs.  When I was drinking I failed at really seeing me.  When I was drinking I failed to do what was right or best for me.  When I was drinking I avoided situations just so I wouldn't fail.  When I was drinking I failed at trying.  When I was drinking I failed at looking beyond my failures.  When I was drinking failure was the norm.  When I was drinking failure was easier to accept than having trust and faith in myself to do better, choose better and strive for better.  When I was drinking I would just settle with the easiest way out.  When I was drinking failure seemed to know me better than allowing success a chance.  When I was a drinking I failed many times!
When I chose to become sober my failures seemed to lessen.  When I chose to become sober my fears of failing at college, my job and my life became less.  When I chose to become sober I needed to take my negative attitude and turn it into a positive,...regardless of the situation.  When I chose to look upon my down falls, my character defects, my bad behavior or mistakes in a way to learn more about me and how I could better me,...I became a success.  When I chose to study harder in college,...I became a success.  When I chose to stay home with my kids and give up my career to start another I knew I was going to be a success!  When I learned my son had Autism I looked at it in a positive and even blessed way.  I have learned so much about myself through my son's Autism I can go on forever. When I started to work a program that helped me,
guided me and showed me that I was loved and was accepted no matter how far down I had gone I could still make a difference in my life as long as I am willing to face the truth within myself,...I was ready to face the truth!  When I became sober I had to fight for my sanity, my peace, my understanding of me, my needs, my loves and mostly my success in life as a sober, yet full of life individual.  When I chose to become sober my willingness to fight through my failures were unstoppable.
I have learned to know my boundaries, when to say no and how to react in order to not fail myself, my kids or others.  My recovery today is a reminder that I am a success even if my day is challenging, overwhelming or just plain tiring,...I am still a success!  When I chose to be willing to look at my failures I allow myself to learn more about me.  I know today if I do not take my failures as a learning experience I can cause myself to relapse.  I know today if I choose to act on or react on my failures I will not succeed as a happy, serene and loving individual.  I know today that other people's failures are not my responsibilities,...I mind my own business!  Today, I still fear the unknown and if I will fail but it is not nearly as profound as it was before I became sober,...I have more faith!  Today, I still at times am not sure what to do with my Sobriety Fitness but I will not give up trying,...I have hope!  Today, I still have those days where I struggle with decision but I pray on it and look for God's message,...I have a Higher Power of my understanding!  Today, failure is always there as long as I allow it to consume me,...I have choices!  I am ready to take on the world, take risks and mostly show all those who doubted me I can do it,...I am a success!
Do you struggle with failure?  If so, try working on why you do and ask yourself how you can succeed today.  Today, I will run with success in my heart and know that I am always striving to succeed in my life's well being.

Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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