"Happy Monday!"
When I was drinking I expected you to listen to me, do as I say and think the same way as I thought. When I was drinking my expectations of you were unrealistic, controlling and down right bothersome to my spirit. When I was drinking I never knew I expected things from people. When I was drinking I never realized that expectations were the source of my anger and resentment. When I was drinking I lived in denial of my expectations. When I was drinking I expected to much!
I became sober and the thought of me expecting anything was yet to be discovered, realized and dealt with. Meaning, I never even realized how much or how many times I expected things from others. I was in denial! I became sober and noticed everyone else around me who still had the problem with drinking and or drugging,...I expected them to change. I expected them to listen to my preaching, self righteous, controlling and over bearing ways as too how they should be, too. I was crazy! I would become angry! I would become resentful! I became sober and had to learn how to not expect things from others, rather accept them for who they are, what they only know or what they are only capable or willing of doing. This was hard! This was difficult! This was a new way of thinking and perceiving things in my life. I had to be aware of my motives, my controlling uncomfortable way of feeling when things are not going the way I want them too. I can do this as long as I was willing. I was willing! I had to let go of what my needs were and realize that someone else may have different needs or wants. I let go! I had to come to terms with being angry and resentful with others and realize I was really angry at myself for not dealing with my own issues and forcing them on others. I deal with my own issues today!
When working on me I realized that things and people in my life changed. When working on my own issues my expectations of others seem to disappear. When dealing with me I no longer struggle with resentment and anger with others. When working on me I like me, I love me and I can accept me! This was a sense of peace and tranquility I never had. This is what I wanted in my recovery. This is what helps me accept others, love others and deal with others regardless of the situation. This is what not expecting means to me!
Do you struggle with expectations? Are you willing to deal with them? If so, try asking yourself what your motives are when expecting things from others. Today, I will no longer carry expectations in my heart, they only disturb my well being!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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