"Happy Sunday!"
Today I awoke with a lot of things on my mind. I laughed! Today I awoke with situations that never seem to change. I laughed! Today I woke with a husband who is bothered by someone or something and was taking it out on anyone who crossed his path. I laughed,...to myself, that is!
When I was drinking I never seemed to laugh and if I did laugh it was a negative laugh. For instance, when I was drinking I only laughed at people and situations in order for me to feel better about myself. When I was drinking laughter was for making fun of others and something to hide the secrets I kept from others about my pain, sadness, loneliness, anger, fear and mostly to escape the emotions of feeling them. On the other hand, I would also be so thin skinned that I did not allow myself to laugh at myself or when others would joke around with me. I was so serious! I took everything personal! I was so defensive! I was so insecure! I was so unhappy! When I was drinking I didn't know how to laugh!
When I chose to become sober I chose to change a lot of things about myself. I never knew that laughing was going to be one of them. I never knew laughter would change the way I felt inside. I never knew laughter until I became sober! Today, when I see things for what they are and a situation should arise,...I allow myself to let go and laugh. Today, when I make mistakes,...I try not to beat myself up rather see what I can change and even allow myself to laugh. Today, when someone jokes around with me I choose to laugh and not take it personally. On the other hand, when I have a problem I do not need to hide behind a laugh rather I deal with it, change it if I can and say what I need to say without acting as if everything is fine! Today I do not have to laugh at others, make fun of others to have a laugh just for me to feel good about myself. Today, I can laugh healthy and laugh in a more positive matter.
Those of you who have heard my laugh know how contagious and loving it is! Those of you who have experienced my presence at a meeting, party and mostly just being around me and knowing how I laugh and how I truly enjoy myself and the people who are in my life today. I love to laugh today. I love how laughter can release stress and anxiety. I love to allow myself to let go and laugh and not be so serious. I love to laugh at myself...it allows me to see how ridiculous I have acted, expressed myself or how I reacted in some situation. Laughter has given me a freedom in my recovery to accept me for who I am and how I can be at times. Laughter has given me freedom in my recovery to recognize other people's issues and allows me to thank God that I was once like that and I no longer have to live like that...sort of like how I saw my husband today! I have the freedom to laugh inside and out...whatever I feel fits the situation and as long as it does not hurt others in return. Laughter is a wonderful thing once you understand all the benefits it can give you in your life! I love to laugh! I can laugh, today for the right reasons. I can laugh! Will you laugh today?
Do you struggle with laughter? If so, ask yourself what your motives are when laughing,...for instance, is it to make fun of someone or is it to enjoy yourself? There is a positive and a negative way when engaging in laughter, which one are you? Today, I will exercise with laughter in my heart and know how free I am when I allow myself to laugh!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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