"Happy Friday!"
Today I thought I would talk about something that I had been struggling with for the past week. I have been sober for over 18 years and toxic people, places and things seem to never go away. Toxic people, places and things will never go away unless I take action. Toxic people, places and things will continue to try to sabotage my life, my recovery and my serene state of mind,...if I allow them too. Toxic people, places and things will try to control me, change me and manipulate me,...if I choose to let them. I will choose to let them go!
When I was drinking I was toxic! When I was drinking I was toxic to others! When I was toxic I was surrounded by toxic things that kept me toxic. A bar, a friend, a family situation, a family member, a teacher, a therapist...believe it or not they have their issues too and mostly growing up in an environment with distorted and unhealthy thinking from others, who never got help for their own issues and were placed upon me. I say I was innocent, insecure, not aware, lost and mostly confused as to whether to know any better. I was toxic and never knew it. I was living in toxic situations and never knew. I was toxic!
The day I chose to become sober was the day I chose to cleanse the toxicity out of my life. The day I chose to get sober God was doing for me in areas I really did not understand or realize that were going to change my life for good. I learned quick about toxic places, people and things when I stopped drinking. For instance, the thought of going or being in a bar, around my old drinking friends and family members where enough for me to stay away. They were a threat to my urges to have a drink, to self destruct and loose what I truly wanted...sobriety! Time has past and my recovery has become more robust in knowing the true meaning of toxic people, places and things...the blessing in this matter is that I am still learning! In other words, toxic people, places and things today can be an employment, client, friend in recovery, some recovery groups or meetings, Facebook posts that I feel are unhealthy to comment on so I choose not to engage in the drama, and again family members and friends. These toxic people, places and things do not threaten my sobriety today, rather consume my serenity, way of healthy thinking and mostly the love I have for myself and others. I understand that 'principles over personalities' will allow me to conquer any situation, although I have also learned that "God has given me choices not punishment!" I no longer have to live in guilt, which allowed me to think as though I deserved such unhealthy situations. I no longer feel as though I am not worth it. I am worth it, my recovery is worth it and my love for myself is worth it! I always remember this when I need to change the sick circle in my thoughts and behavior towards these toxic people, places and things. "Keep doing what your doing, you'll keep getting what you always got!" The three C's have always helped for me too, Can't CONTROL it, Can't CHANGE it and I did not CAUSE it! When looking at these tools I have learned and taking such wonderful suggestions by so many recovering individuals in my life has allowed me to make a health choice. It allows me to be true to myself! It allows me to see my self worth and cherish it! It allows me to stay true to my recovery. It allows me to deal with the truth, which then allows me not to fix it, people please it and mostly take on another person's responsibility in the matter. It allows me to be free! This allows me to see god's message in the matter and making that choice for myself. This allows me to have more gratitude, understanding and acceptance of toxic people, places and things without it affecting my spirit. This allowed me to let go of toxic people, places and things in my life!
Do you still have or still surrounded by toxic people, places and things in your life? Try figuring out what your self worth means to you and before you know it those toxic things will no longer be in your life. Today, I will run knowing I got rid of toxic people, places and things this week that will allow me to grow even stronger in my recovery. I will run toxic free!
Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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