Recovery: Did You See The Butterfly?

By Sobrfit3
Written By:  Cathy Shuba
"Happy Saturday!"
I know when everyone reads my title will ask, "What is Cathy talking about now,...has she gone crazy?  No, I haven't gone crazy and what I ask is a question that some folks seem to miss.  The message from God, a Higher Power or just a sign that things in your life will change, are going to change or new beginnings.  Did you see the Butterfly?
The other day I had been feeling down, uncertain, not sure of my decisions and mostly frustrated with what I want to do with some issues in my life, with some things I still need to change in my life and of course with my passion with my Sobriety Fitness.  I thought if I wrote in my journal about my feelings I would feel better,...I did!  I thought if I went for a run I would feel better,...I did!  I thought if I talked about it with my close friends and family I would feel better about it,...I did!  I thought if I went to a meeting I would feel better,...I did!  All these things I mentioned above have always been my foundation, my tools and my way of figuring out and dealing with my feelings, emotions and issues in my life.  Like the saying goes, "It works, if you work it!"  Yet, I still was unsure of things and had no solid answers as to what I should do with all of this.  I was always told by my late grandmother, "If your not sure what to do, don't do anything!"  I always would become irritated by that and say to myself, "That will never help me,...I'll just stay stuck!"  When I became older and sober and wiser, I then began to understand that saying with love, compassion and a blessed message from Grandma Mary that I needed to look for the message, not be so impulsive, slow down and be more patient.  She was right, so many times I disregarded her wisdom for my self controlling, self centered, self absorbed, self righteous...do not tell me what to do I know what to do you know nothing attitude and egotistical thinking.  I now think of her when ever I come to a decision I need to make and I am not sure what to do with it.  This saying has helped me in my recovery to look for the message.  I will look for the message, regardless!
The message has come!  The message was there!  I saw the message!  I saw the butterfly!  You are probably saying to yourself, "What the heck has she been smoking!"  I promise, I have not been smoking anything,...I am just telling all of you what I saw the day I was experiencing all these feelings!  Everywhere I went that day I saw that same butterfly!  For instance, the time I left my house, getting in my car, getting out of my car, at the store, at the library, on my run and even when I arrived at my meeting.  Even though I had all those feelings that day, I was still willing to see the butterfly and realize that it was a message,...well to me, that is how I saw it.  Call it ironic, call it a coincidence,...I called it God's message!  New beginnings, new life, new changes and new way of thinking or perhaps looking at things.  I now look at God's message as the butterfly.
Since that day I have been able to see things in my life as a blessing, as an opportunity, as a way to help others, as a way to expand my wings and mostly a way to deal, figure out and solve what I need to solve, change or make better in my life.  Yes, I have a clearer outlook on how to deal with what has been bothering me.  Yes, I do know what I want to do with Sobriety Fitness...and it does not involve making a new recovery program or changing the 12 step program.  Sobriety Fitness, will involve improving me and many others that would like to improve themselves spiritually, mentally and PHYSICALLY!  Yet, will be revealed,...stay tuned!  Yes, with more schooling, more research and Grandma Mary's wisdom...I will make it come alive!  I need to keep believing, keep the faith and the passion for what I have so much for in my life, in my recovery life and in my family life.  I will make a difference, I will share my passion, I will ask for help, I will continue to see...the butterfly in my life.  I am willing to see the butterfly in my life, are you?
Do you have a hard time seeing God's message?  Perhaps, you struggle with too much of your own self issues and it causes you not to be able to see the message.  Perhaps, you experience to much victim, feel sorry for me train of thoughts within yourself.  Whatever it is, the day will come for you to see the message, that is if your willing!
Today, I run knowing that no matter how difficult, challenging or sad a issue I maybe experiencing I know that I must look for the butterfly,...God's message, that is! 

Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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