Please May I Know You More Pretty Woman?

Do you ever check your Other mailbox on Facebook? I suggest you get right on that. Because there are some hot foreign men on there just waiting to call you dear and other terms of affection, and send you several million Monopoly dollars.

One of these days I'm going to put together a real, actual seminar on Facebook for Baby Boomers and the Too Busy and there will be a few minutes dedicated to your Facebook mailboxes and how to manage them. For now I'll just summarize that your Other mailbox is right next to your regular Facebook mailbox, but it's full of mail from people who are not your Facebook friends. Most people don't even know they have an Other mailbox. Those of us who are aware of it rarely check it, because it just sits quietly, tucked away on the upper right corner of your screen-page. It's the only thing on social media that doesn't send constant notifications through your cell phone, iPad and bedside alarm clock alerting you that something is happening with someone you barely know and you should get up right now and deal with it.

I made the mistake of not checking my Other mailbox for a long time and all the messages were removed by the Social Media Tight Ass Society. They claim they want to protect me from scammers and spammers, but I think they're just jealous that a Nigerian dude named Seth didn't track them down to tell them they had just inherited $3000000.00 from a dead relative. And that she has a sweet smile to boot.

So all I've got is the first line in the mailbox view.

Hi miss beauty how are you doing over there in califonia,am fr... Hi Diane Laney Fitzpatrick how are you, nice meeting you online... Hi, I viewed your profile and wanted you to know I am interest... What a nice and simple smile. I wouldn't trade that smile for a ... I was just browsing some profiles, and your cute smile stopp... GREG BASHIK: Dear Partner I am a lawyer by profession. I a... Dear Friend How are you doing today,hope fine? I know you... Dear fitzpatrick, I am aware that this is certainly an unconven.... Dear, I have a message for you concerning my deceased client... Dear Fitzpatrick, In a brief opening remarks, my name is Ray... Hello there, wow this is so lovely I mean your profile picture is ... Hello my lady your profile is captivating and astonishing that i ... How are you doing to day dear?

I don't know how I'm expected to collect all that money and get to know these debonairians better if I can't get access to the whole message. The few that have slipped through in their entirety are so full of compliments I could just blush.

Hello there,wow this is so lovely i mean your profile picture is so amazing it captured my eyes, hmmm you look so beautiful and attractive your picture makes me smile and that makes me say that you are such a smile giver, oh my God this is really great, please may I know you more pretty woman? Hugs and kisses. Kenneth

This kind of unabashed flattery hardly ever shows up in any of my other mailboxes, least of all my regular U.S Mail box. And when was the last time you read a strategically placed hmmm in a love letter from your husband? Barry White's got nothing on Lobsang Genji, who told me he wants to be my Soul & Dream mate. He lives in Florida, Orlando, though. "We can overcome the distance as distance should & does not come between two loving hearts but it does make it inconvenient."

Maybe it's just me, but I think that deserves at least a little chirping notification. Let's bring back the AOL guy: " YOU'VE got mail that points out the nicer things about your smile!"