Guilt: How I Recognize Guilt!

By Sobrfit3
Written By:  Cathy Shuba
"Happy Wednesday!"
I never wondered what guilt was or why I used it on others until I became sober.  I never recognized it.  I never thought I would use it as a tool to get my way, make someone feel bad or just to manipulate a situation.  I never seemed to care about it.  I never saw myself as guilty.  I never seemed to think that guilt had anything to do with me.  I never seemed to think I did anything wrong in order to feel guilt.  I really didn't care to deal with guilt.  "Oh boy,...did I have an elephant in every room I was in!"
When I was drinking I would just do things with no care in the world.  When I was drinking if I had said something to you that hurt your feelings I felt that it was your fault.  I refused to take the responsibility.  When  I was drinking and did something to you I refused to own up to it and blame you, guilt you and be mad at you.  I refused to be wrong.  When I was drinking, guilt was my way of refusing any responsibility, accountability and wrong doing I had done or said to someone.  Guilt was the magic wand that seemed to make all the wrong doing that I had caused....disappear.  So, I thought!  Guilt was a way for me to control a situation I had no control over.  So, I thought!  Guilt was a way for me to control people.  So, I thought!  Guilt was a way for me to get out of my responsibility in a matter or fight.  So, I thought!  Guilt was a way to try to make me look good.  So, I thought!  Guilt was my tool!
When I became sober I never truly understood guilt the way I do now.  When I became sober I never realized how many times I used guilt in order to avoid my own guilt I was truly having.  I realized by all the times I used guilt in a situation or upon someone...I was the one who truly had the guilt!  I was the one who was not dealing with my own guilt!  I was the one who caused the guilt!  I was the one with the guilt!  It was a blessing in disguise...I see the guilt.  I know about the guilt.  I will not guilt anyone or any situation in order to gain control, pride, ego and all those other negative behaviors I thought at one time in my life as powerful and fulfilling!  I can see guilt today whenever someone is trying to oppose it on to me.  I can see when guilt is being worked in a conversation.  I can see when guilt is being used in an argument.  I can see when guilt is being applied to a situation in order to gain control, manipulation and self will run riot.  I can see when guilt is used in order for the other to get out of a situation or responsibility they refuse to see or admit their wrong doing.  I can see guilt!
Today, I am free of guilt!  Today, I am sober!  Today, I know guilt!  Today, I am strong and know that if someone tries to guilt me I can just walk away and not engage in their guilt...and say a prayer for them.  Today, I do not use guilt on anyone or situation.  Today, I take responsibility, accountability and mostly courage to do what is right.  Too do what is pure.  Too not act selfish, manipulative and controlling of others.  Too recognize when I have said something wrong or did something wrong and own up to it.  I no longer need to use guilt or have guilt in my life.  I no longer need to continue a conversation or argument when I see guilt is being used upon me.  I can see guilt today and decide whether it is worth my peace and serenity to engage in a comment, email, conversation or discussion where guilt is being used and practiced by another person.  I refuse to engage in guilt.  If guilt is present...I will not be present!  Guilt is self destructive, negative, controlling, manipulative and mostly disturbing to me.  I am grateful I recognized my guilt!  I am grateful I know guilt.  I am grateful I no longer need guilt as a tool.  I am grateful I dealt with my guilt.  I no longer use guilt.  I am at peace.  I no longer need to control anyone or any situation.  I have serenity!
Today, I will run guilt free in my heart and soul and know that I am free of guilt!

Sobriety Fitness by Cathy Shuba is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.sobrietyfitness.com.
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