Well friends what is better the day after Christmas than to have more of your questions answered! We had to split them up since we got so many great questions (Check out part one here for answers to questions about guys) So now for the final installment- guys answer questions about relationships.
So let’s get started!
Our guys:
The Nerd-24- Single
The Law Student-24- Taken
The Funny Guy-27- Single
The Married One-33- Taken
The Entrepreneur- 27- Single
How do you most often like to meet women?
The Nerd: Through friends. You don’t have the pressure of feeling like your just meeting someone to… in a sexual way.
The Law Student: Through friends. I’m not the kind of guy to approach strangers.
The Funny Guy: I would like to meet people who are interested in the same things as me so meeting comedy people would be cool, but normally it is just drunk in a bar.
The Married One: I mostly went out with groups of friend. A group of guys meeting a group of girls and everyone kind of pairs up. That was my best way.
The Entrepreneur: It’s easiest in social situations like maybe at a party or through a friend but honestly it doesn’t matter. I’ve met girls at a grocery store, at a bar, at a gym. It doesn’t really matter to me.
If you don’t want to see a girl again, what is your usual excuse?
The Nerd: Ummm… I mean it depends but- its usually that “I would rather stay friends,” which is stupid cause I hate that excuse.
The Law Student: “Busy”
The Funny Guy: I don’t have a go-to answer but “Family Stuff” a lot of the time I’m just telling the truth- but like a day off if I need to.
The Married One: “I’m busy” “I’ve got plans”. I wasn’t ever super direct cause that was very mean.
The Entrepreneur: Most of the time they get the hint but I guess if I’ve said anything it’s just “hey I’m really busy right now” or “hey I’ve got to focus on my work”. I think once or twice I’ve said I’m still dealing with my breakup. I try to avoid hurting peoples’ feelings. I would like to tell the truth but I don’t think most girls could handle it.
What is a total turn off?
The Nerd: Someone who is lacking in personal hygiene.
The Law Student: Being dumb. Being out of control (ie: drinking too much)
The Funny Guy: Somebody who is too cocky or someone that talks too much. I’m just completely shut down to that. It’s okay to be confident but you have to poke fun of yourself a bit. Or people that take themselves too seriously.
The Married One: I didn’t like a girl that’s really flirty- like overly flirty. I really didn’t like that. I don’t want to say it’s too easy but come on, there should be a little chase there.
The Entrepreneur: There is a long list of those… but there is also a long list of turn ons. Bad hygiene, bad manners, lack of confidence, neediness. Confidence is the biggest turn on for me- the most important thing.
If your parents don’t like a girl you are seeing, would that influence your feelings?
The Nerd: No unless my parents had a legitimate excuse for not liking them- like knowing she cheated on me or something… but no.
The Law Student: Yeah- probably.
The Funny Guy: In the past it hasn’t but in the past my mom has been dead on the money about why old girlfriends weren’t right for me. So no, but I guess I need to trust my mom a little more.
The Married One: Absolutley. You can’t bring a girl home. They’re your parents- a big part of my life even if I’m not around a lot- even at 33 years old. Luckily my mom and my wife get along extremely well- that was a big big positive.
The Entrepreneur: It would. It has. But, I’ve never been that sure about any of the girls I’ve dated anyway. But I do care what my parents think about the girl. It isn’t a deal breaker but it is something I care about.
Do you take girls’ careers (or career aspirations) into account at all when you are dating or is that a girl thing?
The Nerd: Kind of. Like I don’t want them to work at some dead end job. Like…they’ve worked at McDonalds for the last 10 years….
The Law Student: I guess it’s something I would think about or be aware of but I don’t think it is one of my first considerations. I think more about whether I like spending time with her.
The Funny Guy: I don’t think it can be as big of a negative as it can be with guys- for guys it’s like “so what?”, but in the same vain it’s like “wow she does something really cool” or “wow she does something she is really passionate about”- so it can be a turn on. Some girls I’ve heard say “I’m doing this until I get married,” which is bad.
The Married One- I totally did. When I met my wife she had told me about all of her plans and I was looking for someone who had that eagerness. Absolutely.
The Entrepreneur: I definitely do. Of course. It’s more a question of aspirations period. It isn’t about what they do- as long as they are really passionate about something. I want someone who is passionate about something else and has a lot going on in their own life- cause I have a lot going on. I don’t want someone who is coasting their way through life.
Do you feel that you should always approach a woman first? Or is it okay for a woman to ever approach you?
The Nerd: Well I think it’s silly cause I’m a person who will not approach anyone cause I’m so scared. So if someone approaches me, all the better.
The Law Student: Sometimes girls making the approach is a good thing.
The Funny Guy: I think that would be awesome. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a girl starting a convo with a guy.
The Married One: I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Maybe a long time ago I would have wanted to be the one to approach but working in the restaurant industry, I see plenty of women go up to men. You never know- I’m totally fine with a girl being forward.
The Entrepreneur: I wish women would approach men more cause I think they would have a better time at it that way. I think more people would meet people they like. And it would be so much better- cause a lot of guys don’t know how to approach women. I’m not saying I’m better, I’m just better than most guys I know.
If you had a kid, how long would you take to introduce your significant other to the kid?
The Nerd: I don’t have any experience with this but maybe 3-6 months? Cause I think within 3-6 months it will either get real serious or it will end.
The Law Student: I have no idea.
The Funny Guy: It depends how much I like the girl- if I really like her I’d want to introduce- whatever is normal! Don’t need to waste time.
The Married One: It wouldn’t be on the first date. It would be maybe after 5 or 6 dates? I don’t know how long that would be- but in the movie The Holiday- the way Jude Law introduces his kids- that was a good way. They have to pass a few tests before you introduce your kids.
The Entrepreneur: If I was dating someone I’d probably like to know they had a kid pretty quickly. Maybe when sex begins… or when it is about to. At the very least, if not sooner.
When you’re dating someone, what is the biggest mistake they can make?
The Nerd: Cheating on me.
The Law Student: If a girl cheated on me, that would be pretty bad.
The Funny Guy: If you’re overinterested- sometimes you become less interesting. Or girls who tell you they just got out of 8-year-long relationships.
The Married One: Not playing hard to get. Playing hard to get is different than playing games. Playing games is a bad thing. Playing hard to get is a good thing.
The Entrepreneur: Not communicating. Not trusting stems from not communicating.
When you’re with someone, what is the best thing they can do?
The Nerd: Be open to doing different things. Don’t fall into a pattern.
The Law Student: Listen to me.
The Funny Guy: Just be fun and normal. Not be awkward about stuff. Or if things are awkward just addressing it. I think it is just best to be brutally honest. That is a breath of fresh air. I’d love to start a date with someone telling me what’s horrible about themselves. Like: “I’m super awkward at this…”
The Married One: They are thoughtful- when you say something in passing or briefly and they respond to that.
The Entrepreneur: The best thing a woman can do to show you that they care and that they appreciate you are the little things. They are in the area so they bring you lunch to work. It’s the little things that you do just because you’re thinking of them. Things that aren’t that significant but they show that they care. Cause anyone can do the obvious stuff.
What is the most endearing quality in women you like?
The Nerd: Humor and an optimistic view on life.
The Law Student: Being a nerd- cause I’m kind of a nerd.
The Funny Guy: If a girl is funny. For me, girls that are outgoing and aren’t awkward about meeting people. I like someone who can cut through the awkwardness and introduce themselves if they need to. I think it’s a maturity thing.
The Married One: There has to be an attractiveness there- that’s instant. But something that is endearing is how she speaks about her family, where she comes from and her life goals. There has to be ambition and drive- that’s endearing.
The Entrepreneur: Being completely open and completely themselves. Being goofy, vulnerable, whatever that means- being totally open and being real.
Is it a turn off if you know a potential girl is looking to settle down?
The Nerd: It isn’t as long as they don’t get ahead of themselves and are so into it that things are rushed.
The Law Student: No. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m looking to settle down.
The Funny Guy: I don’t think so. It’s only a turn off if you really don’t want to date her but if you only want to hook up with her. Cause that’s how guys talk….
The Married One: I was tired of dating so I was looking to settle down. Because I was ready- I was looking for someone to settle down too- so it wasn’t a turn off. If you’re ready- it isn’t a turn off.
The Entrepreneur: Personally, if I’m actually into the girl, no. If I’m trying to sleep with the girl, yes- just cause I don’t want to be an asshole about it. If I’m serious about it then yeah- at 27, settling down is something I’m considering. Especially with the regular reminders from my grandmothers.
What are some characteristics, attributes, actions etc, that some women embody that you find negative?
The Nerd: Close mindedness on how other people live their life.
The Law Student: It’s hard- I don’t like stereotyping but in the context of the question- getting too many text messages can get kind of annoying. Or being responsible for someone else’s mood.
The Funny Guy: Any girls that are overconfident and annoying. Girls that talk shit about other girls too often.
The Married One: Someone who is complacent. Someone who isn’t fun or outgoing. I like a woman who is strong, independent and smart… so whatever the opposite of that is.
The Entrepreneur: Definitely arrogance and thinking they are hot shit. Taking themselves seriously. Not appreciating the effort that guys do put in- thinking that they deserve it instead of appreciating what it was. If I can tell a woman is expecting something, like a guy to pay, as opposed to appreciating whatever happens, that is just a turnoff and I walk away. Cause no matter how good looking someone is, humility is one of the most important things a girl can have.
So……
What do you think? Intrigued? Any guy you relate to? Anything you surprised by?
This has been a super fun little experiment! Hope you all enjoyed it too!
Happy Thursday y’all!
Let’s talk.
Tagged as: awkwardly ever after, dating, men, questions, relationships