In our world, in order to fit in, one has to be normal. But, normal is not straightforward. What does it mean? According to one dictionary, nor-mal means: not abnormal, regular, natural, serving to fit a standard, approximately average in every psychological trait such as intelligence, personality or emotional adjustment, free from any mental disorder, sane.
And every single day, I look around and wonder just how many of us ‘so-called healthy people,’ fit this description. Was the hit -and-run driver normal? I mean, is it normal to drive so fast? Is it normal to drive when high on drugs or alcohol?
Not a day passes when I do not think about my son and how he suffered while the rest of us were trying to sort out our lives.
When my parents died, I lost a huge chunk of my past, but when my son died, it was my future and the dreams I’d had for him that disappeared.
Coping with death is very difficult, but coping with suicide is different, and much harder. My husband and I needed to taste life again. I realized that we had atually forgotten how to live. We made a point of doings things we’d enjoyed in the past. We walked along the beachfront to watch surfers riding the waves but that reminded us of better times when our David had been amongst them. We sat down to watch the sun set slowly, painting the sky in a way that no artist can capture on canvas. In the spring we drove to see fields of wildflowers that had recently burst into bloom. We read good books, listened to soothing music. But, no matter what we did, at some point, the tears flowed.