The World Cup Is Here!
Brazil is hosting the tournament.
Prince Charles provides his rounded view of the 32 Nations taking part. Here is his take on the final two Groups (Thank God) G and H.
Group G
Germany – Leiderhosen laden, oompa loompaing, thigh slapping titanic Teutons - massively hammed to a man - made a few mistakes in the past but who hasn’t? I’d slip Angela Merkel a length! Still have relatives there.
Portugal - Port swilling Latin layabouts obsessed with sardines and hair styling products -World center for dandruff research.
Ghana - Ex colony (weren’t they all? sigh) – people smile a lot and wear clothes so bright their jumpers are visible from Saturn – cheap place to buy sandals but sadly not brogues for one.
USA - Ex colony – they have a penchant for shooting each other indiscriminately yet keep to a strict oral hygiene regime – invent their own games involving shoulder pads to make sure they win them. Saved our bacon in WW2 when they finally got their arses into gear! Never forgiven Travolta for dancing with Dia*a all them years ago – no wonder he turned to Scientology (she was barking by the way – in case you weren’t sure).
Group H
Belgium – Mussels, chips and getting invaded a lot - Belgium!
Algeria – Cous-cous chomping nihilists who kicked the Frogs out decades ago - up yer arse De Gaulle! - not a fan of cous cous – the bits get stuck in one’s teeth.
Russia – Light hearted libertines with a soft spot for totalitarianism and gay rights – their idea of fun is amoebic dysentery - they burn puppies in the winter to keep warm – the rich ones have bought London.
Korea - Workaholic loons – bastards stole our ship building industry – trapped wind archery is the national sport (use your imaginations – does not make an appealing spectacle).
ENJOY THE COMPETITION!
TTFN
Charlie