We’ve all been there before.
In that state of utter confusion, not knowing why the guy you had an ‘absolutely amazing’ night with hasn’t bothered to pick up his phone, flip his thumb across the screen, hit contacts and dial your digits to tell you how much he thoroughly enjoyed himself, and to book in another get together as soon as possible.
It’s a complete and utter brain buster, and girls who fall into this trap enter into limbo – unable to proceed with their day-to-day lives as this niggling question keeps burning into the back of their heads. “WHY HASN’T HE CALLED ME?”
It can overtake lives. I’ve seen it first hand.
Two of my girlfriends who don’t know each other were recently caught in such a trap. One, banging her head against a wall after hours of telling everyone how magical, how amazing their night together had been. ‘We drank, we laughed, and we kissed the whole way home!” she gleamed. But it’s funny how that can all suddenly mean next to nothing as soon as your phone stays idle for two days.
The second friend is in more of a ‘relationship rift’. Her and her guy are supposed to be working it out and possibly trying to make their fling thing into a full-time relationship. She is raring to go, he’s not so keen.
She constantly tears apart every message he does send, trying to decipher the meaning in every syllable. While friend one spends hours constructing messages with just the right amount of chat and flirtation, without looking too keen. It’s a delicate line, as I’ve learned.
So what do friend one and friend two need to keep in mind?
The advice could go on forever. I could come up with some amazing dating ‘plays’ (forgive the NFL reference) for them to try out in order to have their boys behaving as we all expect them too, but odds are they’d just wind up being more disappointed than if they just took matters into their own hands.
The thing is, women asked for equality and we certainly got it. I’m not saying that some men don’t feel the need to initiate the date, take care of the bill and orchestrate the kiss at the end of the night. Many men are still very romantic and chivalrous – and they are the ones that are probably more popular with the ladies. The rest I’m afraid, need your help.
Instead of sitting there with your phone in hand, going a little looney waiting for him to call you, take matters into your own hands and send him a text telling him you had an amazing time and would love to do it again sometime.
The outcome is never bad – let me tell you why. If he replies to you saying he’d love to catch-up, bingo! You’ve got yourself another date. He also takes a mental note that you’re a strong, independent woman and he’ll probably like you a little more for it.
If he a) replies saying he’s busy with work, b) takes ages to pen a reply or c) doesn’t reply at all – then you’ve got your answer and you won’t have to spend another minute wasting time worrying about a guy that quite frankly was never going to be your knight in shining armour, so kick him off that pedestal you’ve got him on and get out there.com.
Think about it, If he has you guessing in a negative way after date one, obviously he’s never going to be able to make you feel as special and amazing as you deserve, and really – you’re just filling up your head space with a guy that’s so not on your level - and your potential perfect man isn’t getting any air time as a result. So sort your head out, girlfriend.
NQC x
How do you deal when a guy doesn’t call?
Do you think it’s best to take matters into your own hands?