What Makes You Happy

By Richlymiddleclass @richlymiddlecla

Happiness is one of those subjective things that you really cannot wrap your head around most of the time.  We are all different.  What is happiness to one person might not be happiness for the next.

Have you ever looked around at people and thought what makes them happy?  I sometimes look at my friends and think.

“I want a bottle of her happiness.”

And then I think about it.  If one of them could give me a bottle of happiness from their lives, it probably would not make me happy. That is the great thing about happiness, it is like an individual, it is unique and different for everyone.  While it may show similiarities to another person, it will not be an exact match. 

When you are unhappy, people always give you advice on what could make us happy.  Does a person’s happiness advice ever turn out to be just what you needed? In my case it rarely does because while I will listen to the advice and take the good points from it, I cannot be anything thing until I choose to be.

What would make you happy?

If you are single, would a partner be the cure?

If you are jobless, would a job be the cure?

If you are unhappy in a relationship, would counseling or divorce be the cure?

Does advice really help you find happiness? 

When I was younger, I was always buying books on happiness.  If I had back all the money that I have spent on books designed to make me happy, I could probably pay my child’s tuition for a year or two.   I thought if something was so good that millions of people were reading it, it had to be the answer for me.

“It is a best seller; it has to be the cure for my unhappiness.”

To date, I have not found a book that will cure unhappiness.

How do you cure unhappiness? 

I am a believer that you have to look within.  Once I stopped looking for an outside source and started looking within, I noticed that my outlook change on life.  I did not always change the circumstances that were creating my unhappiness but I was able to change the way that I look at and approach the issue.  Once I did that, I was able to come up with a solution to the problem. I was no longer a victim of my inability to cope with the situation, I was my solution.  Being my solution gave me confidence and contributed to my happiness.

Everyone has heard the statement “Happiness is a choice.”  I will have to say there is a lot of truth in that.   If you are a cynic, you will probably say that not everyone has a choice to be happy.    

And you are right! 

If you live in a third world country, your choices of happiness are probably limited.  And I think about that every time I feel sorry for myself and I am not making an effort to experience the joy and happiness that life can offer with me if I choose it.

As we close out 2012, have you looked at your life?  Are you setting goals for next year?  On that list of goals for next year, is happiness included?  And if it is included where does it rank?