It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are because you don’t have to be in a relationship to get your heart broken. You call fall in love with a friend, someone who you can’t have, or maybe you once had someone and lost them. The fact of the matter is your heart is broken and you need to get through it. The process of mending a broken heart involves effectively processing your emotions. When you’re angry, you’re angry, get it out, when you’re sad, cry, and scream to the top of your lungs, whatever works. Admit what ever short comings you may have had, figure out how to grow from the situation, and think about the lessons you learned from the experience; find your pattern, we all have one. You will laugh, you will cry, you will feel disappointment, and sometimes you will feel like your heart has been ripped out but you will LIVE.
Stay away from love songs, it will only make you feel worst instead play songs that celebrate being single and empower you, Irreplaceable (to the left, to the left), Rolling in the Deep, Ceelo Green “Fu** You”. I guarantee you that every time you turn on the radio or log on to Pandora you’ll hear every love song known to the human race. As soon as you log on it will hit you with Lenny Williams “you know IIIII love you”. That song is almost enough to send you to the psych ward. The universe can be cruel sometimes!
Cutting contact will be the hardest step because instinctively you will want to pick up the phone and call or text. You will fail miserably at this the first couple of weeks. The bad thing is if you have the puppet master that you’re in love with they may call you and feed you with false hope or that we can still be friends bullshit, especially if they want to keep you on the backburner. This in no way helps; eventually you will have to cut ties in order to heal. If you need to change your e-mail address and phone number to do so then by all means do it. At some point you may be friends, but you’re not obligated to do so in all honesty. You can easily wish people well and not deal with them at all.
Stay away from friends who are in relationships because at this point you simply don’t want to hear about their oh so perfect partner and how blissfully in love they are. Yes, they’re the sun, the moon, and the stars. Sweet rays of light shines flawlessly through their love and all that other shit that you don’t want to hear at the moment. It’s not about you being jealous or a hater, it’s about you healing. In fact, kick a friend to the curb if they contact you bragging about their significant other and they know you’re going through heart break. That’s just wrong! The right friends and family can help pull you through and help get your mind off things.
Make any positive changes you think would help. Change your hair, work out more, and if needed, relocate. If you have the means and feel a change of scenery is what you need, than go for it. If not, go on a eat, pray, love mission if you can. I wish I had the type of life where I could take off for a year and travel. We all need time to regroup, so if you can’t, a week or a weekend getaway may do the trick.
You should never get out of one relationship and enter into another, I’ve never been a jumper, a jumper is what I call someone who jumps in and out of relationships or someone who suffers from love addiction. I’m 36 and I have had only 3 serious relationships in my whole life and married one. If you don’t take the time to heal eventually you’ll be no good for anyone including yourself. Love addiction is an actual condition that has to be treated with therapy.
I wish I could write that getting over a broken heart is an easy process but I can’t, it’s hard, and I won’t sugarcoat it and make it seem like it is. The only thing that heals a broken heart is time. So what becomes of a broken heart, it heals just like all other wounds and you get out there, start fresh, and take chances. You’ll find that one day that chance will pay off! It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.