We Are Doomed We Are INTEXTICATED

Posted on the 10 January 2013 by Fadi Bejjani @DrFadiBejjani
It got ridiculous when I started receiving texts saying "call me" and I called right back to say "text me"! Of course I was operating at a handicap: I did not know the abbreviated lingo LOL, LM, LMAO, and so on and so forth. New immigrants are loving it: They no longer have to learn English to get naturalized...if they ever did.

I thought I was getting the hang of it and then the apps came in along with the apps. My toddlers introduced me to the games, my PA introduced me to apps like Bump Me, and my IT guru introduced me to the flash-light app. The latest was the most useful. I no longer have to order blindly off the menu at a candle light dinner.

They have APPS for everything: banking, blogging, name it. Just when I thought we were reaching the tail end of it all, the  MOTHER OF ALL APPS just came out: The Electrocardiogram EKG APP. You can just "bump" your chest with the electrode connected to the iPhone and it will read your EKG. This seems like a good thing and can potentially uncrowd the ERs and save money you may say but let us analyze a few possible scenarios.

Sam is a healthy 45 years old. He purchases the EKG APP. He is testing it and it starts beeping I guess because it finds some anomaly. Sam gets so scarred he calls his doctor. Can't get him.  He gets more anxious and rushes to the ER (so much for less crowding). On the way, the weather is bad, the visibility   is poor, he rams into a car which came to a sudden stop. He kills the driver of the other car, has a heart attack and dies. The iPhone autopsy reveals that the beep was triggered by a low battery and the tracing was normal!

Joe is 50 and experiencing some chest/stomach pain after lunch. He first thinks it is an indigestion and drops it. Pain persists so he gets his iPhone and shoot. He does not know where to place this electrode on his hairy chest. Never liked these gizmos anyhow but his daughter got him this for Christmas and he promised to use it. Today is the day. He finally gets it to work. The trace appears and is read as normal by the machine. Joe is reassured, goes about his business. A few minutes later, he keels over and dies. The electrode had a bad contact and positioning on his hairy chest.

I can go on and on with the dooms day scenarios but you got the point. The morale is here that no matter how hard they try to strip down and robotize medicine, you cannot do away with the diagnosing human without dire consequences. I can also imagine the lawsuits. Can one sue an iPhone for malpractice? better yet sue Apple, the (soon-to-be-former) richest company in the world!

Technology is great real until we give it full control over our lives---and deaths. I should also include hear the APPs first cousin video games. Recently a tenuous correlation is being discovered between them and the mad shootings going around. They do affect ones young brain undoubtedly. Just got an idea let us come up with an EEG APP, with biofeedback features to calm down these agitated and violent brains. What do you think?


One word of advice: Don't Go Techno Solo?