Wasted on the Young

Maggie, have you written an article about why sex workers prefer older clients? You’ve mentioned this several times but I don’t recall you ever detailing why this is.

I don’t know that I’ve ever detailed it, either; in fact, I’m pretty sure I haven’t, because it’s such a given in our world that it may never have occurred to me that it actually needed detailing.  But since a very regular reader asked after last week’s Q&A, and another seconded the question, I was obviously incorrect in that assumption, so here goes.

I think there are four basic reasons why sex workers prefer older clients; two of them are purely pragmatic, one is related to professional satisfaction and the last is merely an amplification of a typical female preference.  Let’s take that last one first:  I don’t think anyone will disagree that most women tend to prefer men who are older than they are.  For most women it’s just a few years, but others prefer a larger gap and some tend toward a very noticeable disparity.  Yes, I recognize that there are exceptions to that rule, and y’all can argue whether the reason is nature or nurture if y’all want to (though I will most certainly not be participating).  But in general, I think most people will agree that at least part of the reason is that men mature more slowly than women, and (sorry, guys) never quite catch up.  So if a woman wants a sex partner of a comparable level of maturity, she’s generally going to have to select someone at least a few years older.  Since whores have to deal with a lot more men than the average amateur, we also have to put up with a lot more irritating male behavior than she does; since older men are more mature, they are much less likely to act like annoying boys than young men are wont to do (reread last week’s column in light of this and I think you may see this reflected in it).  And that makes our jobs easier, less stressful and much more pleasant.

Another thing about older men which makes them easier to deal with is that maturity tends to make a man appreciate quality over quantity.  Older men generally prefer better to more; in other words, the experience a sex worker gives him – her conversation and/or service, the atmosphere she creates, the subtle things she does that make her different from all other women – tends to become much more important than how many positions she is willing to try in one session or how many times she can bring him to climax.  On the one hand, that makes her job physically easier; having sex (or conducting a BDSM scene, or giving a sensual massage or whatever) can be both physically strenuous and emotionally draining, and that is multiplied when one’s partner is very energetic and demanding.  Consider that a sex worker may have to perform anywhere from several times per week to several times per day depending upon the kind of work and her price structure, and I think you’ll understand why clients who want to spend more time talking or cuddling than they do expecting her to turn handstands are so welcome.

But there’s another factor involved here as well:  sex workers whose professional model relies upon creating a holistic experience (such as courtesans, dominatrices, GFE escorts, tanrikas and many others) often spend considerable time, energy and effort on working out the minutiae of that experience, and it’s incredibly gratifying for that effort to be recognized and appreciated.  Imagine how a chef might feel if he were to see some hungry young athlete dump ketchup all over his lovingly-presented cuisine, wolf it down without pausing, belch loudly and then complain that the portion wasn’t big enough, and you might be able to grasp the reaction of an escort whose client does something very similar.  Mature men are much more likely to get it, and I don’t just mean appreciating the skill and savoring the experience; there’s a far greater chance that an older man will understand that sex workers are professional entertainers who deserve to be paid well for our mastery of our ancient and venerable art.  Young men are far more likely than mature ones to haggle, try to fuck for every minute of a session or even willfully misunderstand the nature of the transaction (“I’m young and good-looking, do I get a discount?”); older men are much more likely to tip, book longer sessions and honor the economic basis of the transaction rather than merely tolerating it.

That last, of course, is certainly due at least in part to the fact that as a rule, older men are more financially healthy than younger ones; they can afford to be more  generous and don’t need to squeeze every last Jackson until it bleeds.  And that brings us to the other pragmatic reason most sex workers prefer older clients:  in general, they have more money.  They don’t haggle, are less likely to short the fee, book more often and for longer sessions, tip better, bring more generous gifts and can often be counted on to come through in financial emergencies.  And even if all other factors were equal, that one would heavily tip the scales to age.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)