Little things really do matter. SPF 30 really is different than SPF 4. Three martinis is A LOT different than two (if only I would remember that). That little mint at the end of dinner really does make a difference (wink, wink).
My favorite mints from Trader Joe's.
The more I date, the more I realize that the little gestures are what make my heart flutter and what keep me coming back for more. It is not the big expensive dinners, shiny cars, or flowers. A pricey steak does not make a man more interesting.
I have broken down the underrated things that I love into the following categories:
1. Manners
I love manners! Men that are gentlemen are sexy. Yes opening a door is great, but even better are things that not every guy does. For example, listening before speaking, introducing her to your friends, being openly communicable, not losing your temper, offering her something to drink, making sure she likes her pillow, not testing her physical boundaries at every opportunity, not talking about other women, not getting too drunk, not letting your ego rule all your decisions, etc. These are all very general- the best are unique to you. I once dated a guy that used to make me tea before bed without asking me…. I still think about that. Basically, having manners and being classy are very similar.
Photo taken by Jaz.
2. Effort
A little effort goes a long way. Taking time to make that dinner reservation, take shower, or pick up the phone are small gestures that are very important. A smart girl will appreciate these things. Making the extra effort to be creative and thoughtful is a step up from the ordinary. I had a guy bring me a long bamboo plant on a date once instead of flowers (because I am half Asian), which was very creative. Or a man that wants to pick a gal up at her place and knocks on the door instead of texting, “I’m here,” is thoughtful. When there are so many fish in the sea, these little gestures can be deal breakers.
3. Passion
Not only is passion in the bedroom a MUST, but more importantly, passion for life. Even if it is a passion for soccer, passion for music, or passion for travel, every man, woman, boy, or girl needs to have passion- my passion is writing and blogging for you! I do not typically date actors, however, one of the most influential dates I have ever had was with an aspiring actor. His passion for the craft and intense focus and dedication is what inspired me to write down my goals, post them above my bed, and dive head first into everything Cleo. Passion is contagious and passion is attractive. Where does your passion lie? (The wrong answer to this question is girls, sex, porn, ESPN, happy hour, or a combination of all of the aforementioned.) For some reason, I find that men from other countries tend to have the most passion and fire… a theory yet to be proved.
With this post I hope to encourage all the thoughtful gentleman in the world to keep at it. The small things should be appreciated, and if you are with a girl that does not, maybe she is not right one for now.
All the best,
Cleo