I weighed this morning
God knows why
But I did
I've lost weight
For the first time in I don't know how long
I've lost weight
I don't know how I feel about this
A mixture of thrilled and terrified
Losing weight always gives me the hunger to lose more
To starve more
To purge more
To be no more
To be less
I need to not let this get to me
I need to carry on as if nothing had happened
It's probably just my weight settling down
But what worries me is that I carefully recorded the number in my new notebook
As if it mattered
Anyway
Hopefully it's just my weight adjusting
I just need to be strong
And not let this effect me
It's hard though
It's really hard.......