You Have To Hand It To Him!
Azteca Stadium – Mexico City, Mexico- 1986
He was small, stocky and had a lovely mop of hair. He had it all. And he did it in tiny, shiny shorts. He was Diego Armando Maradona.
England. Sturdy. Yeomen. Thick.
It was a clash. Not only of cultures and values but also hairstyles. England still trimmed by Mum; Argentina mulleted bandoleros. Boy, did they give the volumizer a bashing at half-time.
A war had divided the two nations. But one thing united both teams. Exceptionally tiny, shiny shorts.
As Peter Reid, the doughty Liverpudlian midfield enforcer, said about Maradona, “I just couldn’t get near him, me shorts had cut of the blood supply to me knackers. I can’t have no kids ‘coz of dem shorts laa.”
England could not cope with the titchy Buenos Aires Barrio boy. Diego was that good. But he was also a cheat. A cheat who drew inspiration from God.
THE HAND OF GOD.
As these photos display the infamous first goal, when he punched the chicken into the net over the head of English goalkeep, the perma-permed Shilts to put his Tangoing team ahead.
From a different angle the chicken looks suspiciously like a boiled ham. If that doesn’t scream Ham Ball we don’t know what does.
You’ve Got To Ham It To Him!
We’d Get Him In The End!
The result? Argentina won the game and went on to lift the World Cup of Footbally Bally.
Shiny shorts are still banned in England to this day.
Diego is now Pope.