There is a percentage of the population of Christian single women who choose to embark upon a single’s journey. I, however, frequently made it known that I was an involuntary participant of “the single season”.
For many of us, we pray and ask God for an understanding as to why our lives have taken this path. “What is this single season all about?” I would ask. “I did not sign up for this.”
But because we know that God is just in all of His ways we conclude that there must be a purpose. There must be one or several reasons for this. What is it that I should gain?
Honestly the only thing I hoped to gain from being single was getting married. Oh, how in the dark I was. (Smile) I mean really… what a waste it would have been to journey for so long and not gain the greatest extent of what God had for me.
When walking in God’s plan, I soon found that there was much for me to gain. The greatest gifts for me were spiritual and emotional deliverance.
My single season was hard sometimes but it brought to light character flaws that needed correcting and brokenness that needed healing. It exposed my true self.
The call to “wait on God” exposed my insecurities and apprehensiveness about my future. I was lacking in patience and longsuffering. I thought I had great faith, but my single season exposed the limitations I put on myself as a woman of God.
I was very unwise in thinking that marriage would fix all of that.
In my reality, marrying at the age of twenty-five or even thirty would have only put a mask on the deficiencies in my heart. Marriage seemed like the easy way to security and contentment, but in the end my mask would have been uncovered again.
I did not want to bear the pain of loneliness or face the judgment of people. I did not want to be the third wheel surrounded by married friends or spend another Valentine’s night in my bed alone.
Why did I need the frustrating tug-of-war battle between contentment and unhappiness? Just like the clay on the potter’s wheel, we are daily being made by our Creator.
God is ever molding us, beautifying us, and growing us into great masterpieces. Sometimes it takes a season of waiting to find out what we are really made of. Are we made of good stuff… joy, contentment, long-suffering, goodness, patience? Or is there still yet some tweaking to be done in our hearts.
In pain we find purpose and in waiting we find truth.
I would rather endure the sculpting of the potter’s wheel and be healed within, than to get married and remain broken, incomplete, and undone.
No, I did not choose this single’s journey, but I trusted God enough to take His hand. He led me to greener pastures and still waters. God broke many chains on my journey. Without the journey, I do not know where I would be today. I shudder at the thought.
And when this journey is complete, there will be more to come. Hallelujah.
If I had to do it all over again, I would walk the same path… except I would strut more in the joy of God’s healing of my heart and soul.
I hope for you… Love, Grace, and Purpose in Waiting
~Candra