The Session #90: Beer Fight Club

By Blake

The Session, a.k.a. Beer Blogging Friday, is an opportunity once a month for beer bloggers from around the world to get together and write from their own unique perspective on a single topic. Each month, a different beer blogger hosts The Session, chooses a topic and creates a round-up listing of all the participants, along with a short pithy critique of each entry.

This month’s Session is hosted by Jake at Hipster Brewfus and the topic is Beer Fight Club. In a nutshell Jake wants to know have you ever drank a beer that became a battle, more than an enjoyable experience? 

When I think of a beer that became a battle to drink, one comes to mind that never really let go of me. It’s always hung on like it stole something from inside me. The beer which I’m talking about is simply known as “The Lambic” and here’s my story about the night I encountered it. Hope you enjoy.

It was a cool fall night, I remember it well. A slight breeze, football was in the air, and I was on the hunt to try a new beer. I walked out of the house and swung by my local brewshop to browse their plethora of beers. I decided to go with one of those “make your own six packs” and as I was surveying the beer selection my eye caught Sam Adams Cranberry Lambic. I stared at the Lambic and it was almost as if it was staring back, tempting me to take it. I felt like I was staring in the eyes of Medusa, but couldn’t look away as the Lambic knew it had me. As it forced me to put it in the 6 pack I thought to myself, this can’t be good, but it was already in control. I would say it was fate, but upon arriving at my house I would think otherwise.

Once I got home I let it sit in the fridge several days. I kept opening and closing the door, but unfortunately day after day it still appeared staring me back in the eyes. One day, after building up courage I decided to pull it out and open the Lambic beast. As the cap came off you could hear snaps, crackles, pops, and even screams as if this beer was about to attack. As I was cautiously pouring it, I saw it had a beautiful redish brown appearance, and the smell of fruit and cranberry flooded the room. This gave me a false sense of security, deceiving me into thinking this beer was about to be delicious.

As I raised the glass up to my lips it drew to me as if it knew what it had in store. I took my first gulp and I immeditatley knew it had me. Chills of Cranberry Lambic hit my palate as it started to take over. I felt as though a Siren was luring me in with her beauty, only to devour my soul as I drank it. Now scared I closed my eyes and took another sip, but to my surprise the chills quickly came back. I opened my eyes and there it was still full staring back at me. At this point I knew the Lambic wouldn’t go quietly. It was after something more, and that more was me.

You could feel it taking pride in watching me almost pass out sip after sip. The putrid taste was so bad I couldn’t possibly take another sip, but I knew I had to act quick. I thought to myself, “how can I rid myself of this cranberry beast?” I quickly ran to the kitchen sink to pour it out, but it wouldn’t have that. As I panicked, trying to find a way to get rid of this cranberry ghost of Sam Adams, I knew the only way to escape it was to finish it. So painstakingly I turned the glass up, sip after terrible sip, and it was finished. The Lambic put up a fight and didn’t go quietly, but in the end I knew I was the victor. I had conquered the possessed Lambic Cranberry. But the story doesn’t end here.

The next day I was feeling as though I’d conquered the world, but when I opened the fridge, to my surprise the Lambic had returned. Every now and then the Lambic reappears in my local brewstore before quickly vanishing, taking it’s next victim with it. The legend of the Lambic lives on to this day. I still shudder when it’s name is mentioned. If you come across this beast just don’t look in it’s eyes.

This post has been my contribution to The Session, a monthly collaborative blogging effort with beer writers from around the world. I hope you enjoyed.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

 “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”           – Edgar Allan Poe