Swedish photographer Magnus Muhr was really bored one day…and also his house was infested with flies.
So…
You know how the saying goes…when life hands you dead flies, make dead fly art.
Just like Muhr and his dead fly art, we have put together some dead fly art of our own,,,in the form of a poem.
About dead flies.
It’s called:
Dead Fly Poem
Dead Fly
Dead Fly
Legs all up in the air
Never to land so light and gracefully
On a piece of dog poop
Never to buzz and swoop
Over my Aunt Tilda’s pus oozing neck
Never to do that fast leg washing thing
That creeps everyone out
Even hamsters
Dead Fly
Dead Fly
Somewhere there is a heaven for you
And your offspring
That you hatched
In the dead body of a hippo
Anyway…
Happy Saturday!
1. The Flying Flybini Brothers
BrainRants: I hate flies. They are nasty. Flybinis? Flybini Babies. Next hot thing. All yours, people.
Omawarisan:Yeah, they’ll tell you that this proves a principle of physics. Nah. This proves flies have wings.
The Hedonist: Wait, I always thought it was a Flea Circus.
List of X: And off into the ointment she goes!
2. Apparently Flies Are Tighty Whitey Type Of Bugs
BrainRants: Did I mention that I hate flies? Or that I firmly believe they are nasty?
Omawarisan: I’m reassured by this. Flies are disgusting, but now I know that when they land on me their junk won’t be touching me.
List of X: Sorry Oma, that’s what they wear at home. Outside, they just enjoy the breeze as nature made them.
3. Oh The Irony
BrainRants: OMG more nasty flies! And worse: a mosquito!
Omawarisan: No one likes a mosquito.
The Hedonist: What do you call a fly whose wings don’t work? A Walk.
List of X: Well, then I guess the flies have have it coming. Because Karma.
4. Sometimes You Have To Take A Break From Eating Poop
BrainRants: Holy crap I’d wish they’d kill themselves like Hollywood wannabe’s by laying under UV light. Can we sell them botox and ass-lifts?
Omawarisan: Auugh, Dude. Legs together.
The Hedonist: Um, aren’t you guys dark enough?
List of X: Ummmm…. sorry guys… I may have accidentally used Raid instead of sunblock spray…
5. Cannon Ball!
BrainRants: This is not acceptable. Flies have done this in my navel just to prove I’m a fat middle-aged white guy who lives in America. Bastards.
Omawarisan: Terrible form. I’m deducting two points for his legs being out of position and two more for only having four legs.
List of X: Flies working in McDonalds get so fat that they need a trampoline to get off the ground. Even then, half the time they just fall right back into the Big Mac.
6. Giddyup Flyboy!
BrainRants: That’s it. I’m blowing up the South. Bye bye to: North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana… aw screw it. Fcuk bugs. *Presses the nuclear launch button*
Omawarisan: Horsefly’s Horse.
The Hedonist: And later on they had a baby and named him “Pegasus”
List of X: Sometimes a fly is too drunk to fly home safely.
————————–
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
Twitter: @LongAwkPause
Tumblr: Long Awkward Pause Mag
Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic
LAP TV: YouTube
Would you like to see a topic discussed on LAP? Click HERE.