It’s been a really busy couple of weeks. I am part of a group called International Eating Disorders Action, and I have been talking with The Butterfly Foundation for changes to some of their content. It’s critical that people in the ‘industry’ of eating disorder education, hope and treatment get their information right. I have also been asked to be a part of the committee for NSW Service Plan for Eating Disorders. This scares me a bit as I don’t have a degree and don’t feel I have the health qualifications needed. I am hoping they will hear what I have to say and treat it with respect.
On top of that I was asked to write an inspirational post for the blog “Beautifully Broken“. That got me thinking. What’s inspirational? Is what was inspiration to me or us, the same for others? What’s the point of the story – you fully recovered, you achieved what exactly? We love inspirational stories – feel good, warm, fuzzy, got a success to it. The social media world will either love you or hate you, depending upon the vibe of the day and click rate.
A lot of media only want the click bait inspiration too. They want the low weight, the NG tube feed, the hair failing out, pictures of before and after. That’s not inspirational, that’s sensational. It not only doesn’t tell the real story behind, it only makes it today’s news and nothing to hold onto.
Do I cite the way I watched my daughter fall back into relapse and then painfully picked herself back up again (and again, and again …) and continued toward recovery? Do I write about the way her support team was constant, unchanging and had endless patience with her? What about how she is fully recovered? How her inner true person fought to be heard above the anorexia voice and won. My daughter or her story is not something to hold up to inspire others. It can bring hope but the reality of holding it up as inspirational, places burden on both the giver and the receiver. Don’t get caught up in another’s story.
Sometimes what is encouraging to us, just pushes someone else’s buttons. I have lost count of the times I have seen Jenny Schaefer hate posts, simply because the person is so stuck or sick with ED they cannot see any light ahead. What about if Sophie crashes back into relapse and really struggles, how is that ‘inspiring’ after just writing how inspiring it is she is fully recovered. What if you don’t have a great team to support you? If your alone, your mom doesn’t take notice and medical services are too far away and too expensive. How inspiring is your story if no one can relate or finds that what you experienced is ‘so not’ the reality for them.
Inspiration shouldn’t come from only outside of yourself. It needs to also come from within. What inspires you to take the next step, for you, by you. Not because someone else did it. Inspiring yourself means building bridges and digging yourself out when times are tough and you keep desperately struggling. The personal inner journey is what can strengthen and build you more than someone else’s journey. Many find the exploration of their spiritual life the inspiration and strength here. Recovery is about exploring all of yourself in all areas for growth, maturity and to strengthen yourself again relapse.
So what is my inspirational piece. Just this:
- Recover for yourself, not for someone else.
- Your story/journey is the most important not someone else’s.
- To never, ever give up hope nor feel that recovery is not something you can achieve.
- Recovery is personal to each person in their own way and ability.
- Don’t compare yourself with anyone else.
- Find inspiration in all places that you can relate to.
- Surround yourself with people who support your recovery.
- Find role models if need be, but remember you are not them.
- Inspiration is not all good, happy thoughts – it can be painful, letting go thoughts. Learn to leave false guilt behind.