He says that she was the one who dominated the relationship. He went along with her agendas for family, kids, reality TV—and the relationship itself. She feels betrayed by his deeply held secret that all along what he has wanted has been to live as a woman. With their divorce finally happening, both should get what they want.
If we look at these two well-known people as individuals as opposed to as a famous couple—it is easier to break down their dynamics in order to see who was doing what, why and how it met their needs–at least for a number of years. Bruce is an Olympian who won the gold for the decathalon in the 1976 Montreal Summer Olympics. As a strapping male athlete, his image of strength, virility and masculinity was important to his bottom line. His win led to many endorsements and other lucrative deals that have made him a wealthy man. Being a husband (married 3 times) and father of several children just reinforced his heterosexual image.
For Kris, this was a man who could take care of her and her kids while also being the right partner to help her social advancement. He took on the role of stepdad to her three girls and then they had two more of their own. Their twenty-two year marriage led to greater fame and fortune—and both seemed to get what they were looking for from the other—until it just wasn’t enough anymore. It was probably this realization that once they achieved what they felt they wanted, there was still an emptiness and a need that the marriage would never fill.
How often this happens to couples. They have this image of the ideal life, complete with their short and long-term goals. They too often believe that they know just what they will want and need, even way down the road of life–and when they find someone who fits the bill, they make the commitment. Then, when what they thought would make them happy doesn’t–the marriage becomes strained, often the individuals make poor choices to deal with their unhappiness, and the fall-out can be not only divorce, but much harm to the children who are caught in the middle.
When looking for that right person—consider finding someone who completes you, not someone who will make you happy and give you the life you are sure you want. Never forget that old saying, “There are two great tragedies in life; one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it.”