In the begining…
Harry Synder created In-N-Out Burger, and he said “Let there be burgers and fries and shakes and let it be good.”
And the public said it was good.
But the public is finicky and demanded special orders, and bun-less burgers, and meatless meats and Harry Synder saw unto this, and created the In-N-Out Burger secret menu….
And the internet said it was good.
Then “Animal Style”, “4×4″, “Flying Dutchman” entered the ark, and the secret In-N-Burger menu soon became the not-so-secret In-N-Out Burger menu.
And the hipsters said it was bad.
For the hipsters demanded knowledge to be bestowed upon them that only they would be knowledgeable of, and went out 40 days and 40 nights in their Prius’s, and their Jeep Wagoneers, and their 1991 Toyota Corollas, traveling to and fro, and finally stopping at Starbucks to find their new secret menu.
Their journey uncovered the Butterbeer Frappuccino.
And it was good.
Jump to modern day times and now it seems every Quick Service resturant has a secret menu. Of course anyone with a computer, an internet connection, and access to the web page hackthemenu.com, can quickly discover these secret menu items that previously only the rich and famous and in-the-know, knew about.
McDonald’s is the latest to jump into the secret menu shuffle. The PR spokesmen for McDonald’s actually credits it’s customers for coming up with the menu, which seems about right as in the example of the “Land. Sea, and Air” monstrosity. It’s a Big Mac, a Filet-O-Fish, and a McChicken all piled together between buns.
source: hackthemenu.com
Let’s just break this down for a second:
Big Mac – Calorie count: 530
Filet o Fish – Calorie count: 390
McChicken – Calorie count: 370
Total Calorie Count: Heart Attack
On the hackthemenu.com web site, you will see plenty of restaurants that have the secret menu options. When people go to full service restaurants they often change their entree by substituting this for that, so it would make sense that fast food restaurants would also have things changed by the picky, picky, picky, general public.
We will give McDonald’s one caveat for a secret menu item that probably no other fast food chain or full service restaurant can claim.
The award is for the most elusive and rarest of secret menu items…ever! This secret menu item is like trying to find Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster in the spelunking section of a Target. It’s so rare, that it can only be ordered between 10:30 am and 11 am, and it’s the aptly named: The Mc10:35
source: hackthemenu.com
Its of course a Double Burger stuffed under an Egg McMuffin…and it’s a thing of beauty!
So we in the office were thinking…wow, that’s great…all these restaurants have nifty little secret menus to up their street cred…but are they becoming too normal to the fast food experience now? The niche has worn off. We at the Long Awkward Pause offices, located in beautiful Montana, (this month) have decided to come up with a secret menu of our own…but this menu involves using items from more than one fast food establishment at the same time.
And the world cried, “Genius!”
Fried Ice Cream
Ingredients:
A Taco Salad from Taco Bell
A Hot Fudge Sundae from Dairy Queen
Those crispy fried batter pieces from Long John Silvers
Instructions:
Take the hot fudge sundae and roll it around in the crispy fried batter pieces and then gently place inside the taco salad shell.
Waffle Fry Steak Nachos
Ingredients:
Chick-fil-A Waffle Fries
Steak Bowl with veggies from Chipotle
Sauce packets from Taco Bell
Pull Apart Cheese from 711
Instructions:
Dump steak bowl out and put in waffle fries. Scoop steak and veggies back onto waffle fries. Shred pull apart cheese and sprinkle on top. Add sauce to desired tasting.
Sheppard’s Pie
Ingredients:
Mashed Potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken
Burger King Hamburger Happy Meal
Vegetable soup from Panera Bread
Cheese Pizza from Pizza Hut
Instructions:
Crumble the hamburger onto the mashed potatoes and add the vegetable soup lightly on top. Scrap the cheese from the pizza for the toppping. Garnish with pizza crusts.
The Burger Of Awesome
Ingredients:
Hamburger patty from McDonalds
Hamburger patty from Wendy’s
Hamburger patty from Burger King
Two hamburger patties from White Castle with pickles
Nacho Cheese Sauce from any gas station
Parmesan bread from Subway
Arrange burgers in bread, but be sure to place one White Castle patty on one end and the other on the opposite. Put pickles on top. Spread nacho cheese across one side of bread.
Point to sky in a superior gesture and enjoy!
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